The promised entry in Second 1st

So the ear .... it’s okay, I’m not sure the shot did anything really. I still feel like I have motion sickness 90% of the time.

For the last week or so I’ve been texting with Jake. I have come to terms with flirting with him. Rocky is aware. He says it’s happened 5-6 times since we started and nothing ever comes of it. Also, that it lasts maybe a month and then I quit talking to them. … .... I told Jake what he said.... and about why that occurs and made him promise not to go away. That if I’m not being flirty that he’d still be my friend. Then when (in just the first 3 days) he started saying things that were NOT flirting but more.... like giving pieces .... ex: Jen you are the sun to my trees. I’ve missed you so much. .... Well, we had to have a talk about that. Night before last he told me he loved me.... which I know isn’t true but it’s cute. I called Destiny though and laughed about it for like an hour. Partially cause the thought makes me happy and partially cause it feels like he’s super desperate for attention. I’ve warned him not to put so much emotion in me. He called me an angel last night and I told him to be careful he doesn’t miss one coming around the corner because he thought he had one. He is completely aware I’m not going anywhere.

That being said I’m going to try not to bring him up all the time to Rocky. I already have hope that I will be able to talk him out of a trip to MI and be able to go alone this year?.... We will not discuss why I think that would be amazing here.... just yet.... or even ever....

Last night I was up far too late. Me staying up late doesn’t mean I sleep in.... it just means I get less sleep. I slept 4 hours. Yeah. I laid down about 8:30, while shit chatting with Jake. He said he was taking his mom to a Dr. appointment early in the morning and would be turning in soon. I read for a bit… I’m almost done with a barely readable #4 in a series of 5 books .... I’ll have to read the last one too :( because the first 3 weren’t this bad..... and then I decided to scroll FB real quick. That was my mistake......

I went to the Meniere’s support group page expecting to just find a bunch of posts complaining about a symptom and asking for advice on how to deal.... or if anyone else gets that particular reaction. Not only did I find the usual junk but BAM an invitation to reserve seats at a support group in Nashville. It was posted to everyone and the group is international. It’s a decently rare disease. According to the American Hearing Research Foundation only .2% of the population have it. There are 1,100 teaching Hospitals in the US (according to Google) one of them being Vanderbilt in Nashville. They posted that they expect to talk about a list of things that include diet, hearing aids, triggers, treatment options and the one I got most excited about.... Clinical trials and research!

It should not have effected me like it did. I got way too excited and I couldn’t sleep. Here’s the thing. I’ve been told I’m on the “ground level” of managing this thing. It’s pretty much so given that I will go deaf in my right ear. It’s a rare disease. My hearing is going to be gone anyway..... why would I not contribute it to research? What if information I contributed to helped ANYONE. Even from a point of diagnosis, cause..... cure. Even if not for myself. I can’t help but get excited. HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN TO BE SO CLOSE! It’s roughly 35 minsish from here! The group will meet the first TUESDAY (which is already a regular day off for both Rocky and I) each month starting November for 6 months. There was a number to reserve seating I plan on calling today.

While I tried to calm down Jake messaged me “thought you would be asleep by now”.... me too lol and I had to explain the excitement. Then a message from a fave PBer reminding me I hadn’t posted in a week. This is the result. A promised post explaining how I was up so late for no real reason. Continued to talk to Jake who told me a memory that involved him in which I had talked to his then girlfriend where she asked me how I felt about Jake. He said she was highly upset at the response of “The inklings of love are there.” He said it’s posted either in Live Journal or MySpace..... so I spent like an hour trying to read LJ..... I didn’t see a dang thing other than a ton of things I’d like to forget. I want to find something. I want more memories :(.

Rocky came home and I got up to tell him I hadn’t slept yet. He aid he was hungry so we ended up at IHOP for some food. I got an omelette and fruit. Those things are huge so I ended up not eating it all. Came home.

Not gonna lie I was hopeful for some booty. It’s been a month easy :(. We are just never on the same page. He said he was going to get a shower. I was asleep before he got out. There was no effort to wake me as far as I know.... .he could have.... because I don’t have to work today. It is what it is....

This morning I’ve got to run and get a small amount of groceries. Make a Pizza :).... and rolls.... do laundry and then I’m going to spend the rest of the day working on The Wolves/Dream Catcher Diamond Painting. It’s starting to look pretty good:

Off to the races!