I'd Rather Not Admit It in I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

Well over a year ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Was told to read I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me. I did and thought it was psychobabble bullshit.

Weeeeell…the more I talk to people who really know me…

Bad, definitely bad. (Yeah, Rain Man was on this morning, which got me in this train of thought.)

I accepted a job offer (full time, not temp) this afternoon that offers good benefits and decent insurance. Once I get that BC/BS card I’m so going back to my therapist. I’m getting low on my meds and…I can’t run out. I go WAY off the deep end when not medicated.

Right now I’m just laying low, been feeling like absolute shit since going cold turkey off the sauce. Case in point, three PM now, been up since eight-ish last night. Ya, why sleep? Cleaned house a bit during that time and actually threw away a bunch of things that have been laying around for months. Good step right?

Anyways, just popped a sleeping pill (kinda wired yet tired) and think it’s a good time to force a reboot of the brain. I’m going to drift off here on the couch listening to the hum of the fan, dripping of rain outside the window, and the soft murmur of the tv set at a low volume.

I honestly don’t know the last time I slept in my bed.

Last updated September 27, 2018