"Have you ever..." Survey in Random Public Stuffs

1. Have you ever TP’d someone’s house?

A bush, when I was 8-ish. Not a house. My parents would’ve snatched me up.

2. Have you ever stolen anything?

A pack of gum when I was 6 I guess. My mom told me I tried to sneak a pack and run. But…karma. I tripped. LOL

3. Have you ever done drugs?

I tried marijuana a couple times. I was told that it would help me relax and help the pain from my deteriorating discs. It didn’t.
I used to enjoy ecstacy when I went through my massive party-chick phase. I knew after a week of it that I needed to quit.
Tried coke once…did not enjoy it at all.

4. Have you ever drank so much you blacked out?

That was my mid-to-late 20’s and part of my early-30’s when I was told I had bladder and cervical cancer. Had surgery and removed the tumors. Still cancer-free. No longer drinking to blackout level.

5. Have you ever gotten into a fight?

I am assuming that means a physical altercation. Yes. Many times. Both male and female battles. Many of those were party nights. Guys seemed to think they can put hands on my friends and me, but learned fast that it was unacceptable. Chicks think that talking about sports with their guy, while standing three feet away in sweats, hoodie, and ball cap, is flirting. So they do that typical chick thing and try to scratch and pull hair.

6. Have you ever damaged property?

Yes. Actually, this would be connected to #5. A female friend and I went out dancing after finals week. Some random douche tried to get between us and I shook my head and moved away. My friend thought it was hilarious and grinds on him. I went to the bathroom and three girls follow me in. One talks shit to me and reached out to slap me. I grabbed her wrist and used her momentum to throw her into the mirror. I was escorted out, but told I could come back after I paid for the mirror. $150 later, I was enjoying a long island iced tea and dance music.

7. Have you ever done an extreme sport or event?

Define “extreme”? Climbed about 200 yds up a mountain in Colorado when I was four. My uncle still laughs about it and swears that is how he knew I was going to be more than a handful. 200 yrds is only two football fields, but when you’re little with no safety gear its definitely a time to freak out. Course, karma came around and I hit a loose patch coming back down. Slid quite a ways down on my butt, tossed to my right side, tumbled, then hit one of the cars. I didn’t break anything, weirdly enough. I had a shit ton of scrapes and bruises. My shorts were also shredded up.

Bungee jumping at 16.

I was 17 when I slipped into a body suit and harness to be elevated by a massive hook and crane, then dropped to swing back and forth.

Mmmmm. Attempting canoeing in my late-20’s in Arkansas, missing the turn-off at a 2mi mark and turning it into a 10mi swim. My upper body hurt so fucking bad for the next two days. LOL

I think those are the only “extreme” things I have done so far.

8. Have you ever broken the law?

Yes I did. I was stupid enough to get an OWI at the age of 27.

9. Have you ever been to jail/prison?

Jail, yes. For an OWI. I was lucky I didn’t go to prison. My arresting officer couldn’t spell my last name and was being a general dick. I told him he needed to find a different job because he was too fucking stupid to be a cop. He slammed me up against a wall and tried to take my clothes off without a female officer present. I smacked him. I got 30 days in county jail for the OWI because the AO didn’t follow procedure when he tried to strip me down, so my smacking him isn’t on record.

10. What is the worst thing you have ever done?

Hmmm. Worst, for me, was assuming the role of the supervillian. My family was exceedingly evil at that point. My ex-husband’s family was “perfect”....I didn’t want him to see the horror of my family at their worst (at that time), nor did I want to expose my children to that. I pushed him away, granted a divorce to him, and gave him the kids. In doing that, I pulled him out of his plush comfort zone into the real world…just a bit. Then I descended back into the 90th level of hell that was my family at that point. Affairs, drugs, drinking, and physical violence…its like a 2-year soap opera rolled into eight months. I didn’t want that life to damage them.

To this day…my children do not know the full extent of the horror that my family created. I am slowly telling them some of those things. But when necessary, I still play the role of the villian. That is a huge cycle I need to break. Not many people are strong enough to break a cycle of alcohol, drugs, and violence. I have worn it down, my party days behind me, and the last time throwing hands being Halloween of ‘15.

I want my kids to have the best start possible with no illusions. I will be the villian…the bad mom…the absent egg donor…

Because if that is what it takes for my kids to have an amazing headstart in life? Its a price I am paying and will pay for the rest of my life.