Lawn Mower Parents and Their Impact in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

A teacher friend of mine shared an article about “The New Helicopter Parents” and how the new breed is worse than the old breed. AND with a new name!

Helicopter Parents are typically defined (generally) as parents who take an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children. No better illustration of this exists than the following comic:

The helicopter parent is over involved with their child and (more importantly) over protective constantly attempting to shield the child from anything that might lower the youth’s self-esteem.

The new trend? Lawn Mower Parents.
As this has not reached (to my knowledge) official categorization yet; the outline provided for what distinguishes a “Lawn Mower Parent” is as follows
A parent who “mows down” all obstacles on behalf of their child.

One example used was: A teacher at a High School was called down to the office to retrieve something for one of her students. She expected it to be money for lunch or a prescription or something. The teacher was greeted by the parent, a male in a business suit “clearly rushing between work and home” holding a Camelback Waterbottle. He told the teacher that the student, his daughter, texted him that she had forgotten her Water Bottle at home. He had texted back “Doesn’t your school have drinking fountains?” But “She just had to have it.”

That example highlighting the idea that, while there were certainly less than ideal options available to the student, the parent made certain that The Ideal Option was made available.

The article continued with a different High School teacher fielding a call from a parent. The parent was asking for an extension on their child’s homework assignment. The parent was asking about this. The teacher said it would be no problem but wanted to know why the student hadn’t asked. After all, the teacher said, she was always telling her classes that they could ask for extensions from her and she’d be willing to work with them. The parent responded with, “Well, I just always take care of this sort of thing for them.”

When I read that my jaw hit the ground. Not because I found it unbelievable but because I saw the start of this bullshit when I was still a child myself. AND I see it in my wife these days. I know that there are people with legitimate social anxieties and phobias and all of that… but instead of just saying, “This is too hard for you. I’ll do it.” It is a parent’s job and responsibility to say, “How can we get you to the point where you can do this?” Because the difference there? Shit… let me tell you a story.

I am, was, and am (yes, I said am twice I meant it twice) uncomfortable causing waves. If I can just… let everything continue on, then good. As long as I’m the only one that suffers, I can stand that. Granted… that may say something about my self-esteem there. But… if it prevents a scene and I’m the only one that feels miffed… I’d rather it be that way. HOWEVER, when it is about someone else or is simply asking for information… that is a different story. And while I feel weak and unfortunate about my own shortcomings, it has highlighted this exact type of activity and character to me.

You see… when I was around 10 to 13… I spent time in Arcades. Arcades, as you may know, sometimes have machines that “go wrong.” Now you can either wave goodbye to your cash and go about your day; or you can request that a Game Technician (f one is around) help you out. My great friend back then, Dan, would always select option 1. Even if he had poured an entire DOLLAR into a game. To me, that was bad math. Some games, he and I were good. He and I were great at some of those games. Once, during a shooting game, he had to go to the bathroom before his lives ran out… so I grabbed his gun and kept both of us alive dual wielding pistols and protecting him until he got back. So 1 dollar lost could be up to 1 hour less time at the arcade. I WAS NOT OKAY WITH THAT. So it would always fall to me to ask for assistance. Which led Dan to a life where it is REALLY hard for him to ask for help.

More recently? My wife is fucking terrible at this shit. Granted… anxiety, ADHD, etc… but she is awful at this! She has told me (verbatim quote) “I’d rather pee myself than ask where the bathroom is.” On Friday, we were supposed to meet a banker about getting pre-approved for our mortgage. Meeting starts at 4. I get stuck behind a long ass train and call Wife to tell her I will be a few minutes late, please start without me. I arrive approximately 6 minutes after 4. Wife is sitting in the lobby. I sit next to her. I ask if she has spoken with anyone yet. She has not. I resisted the face palm. I then went over to a teller to ask them if they could let the Mortgage Specialist know we arrived. A few minutes later our meeting starts.

This lawn mower parenting? This attempt to avoid ANY discomfort for your child? WILL BE TERRIBLE FOR THEIR FUTURES! Children must must understand “less than ideal” and learn how to adapt and cope with it. I had a nightmare time of this in Junior High School as my hormones turned me into the most scatterbrained version of myself. I would forget where I put books minutes after setting them down. I would forget to bring gym clothes to school after specifically getting them out that morning. Just. Scatterbrained! And it made that year REALLY HARD for me. But through those failures, I learned how to adapt. I learned how to plan ahead. I understand wanting to prevent your child from getting hurt or failing… but protecting them from LESS THAN IDEAL is fucking dangerous. The world isn’t sunshine, rainbows, and princess parties. No matter what we do in our lifetimes, that will not be true. You don’t have to train your child to be “harsh in a harsh world” but you DO have to train your child to be adaptable, able to handle adversity, and capable of taking care of themselves.

You better wake up. The world you live in is just a sugar-coated topping! There is another world beneath it: the real world. And if you wanna survive it, you better learn to PULL THE TRIGGER!