A Day Off in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

Because I have done what I can there have been no calls from me to check on Blue. Yesterday I finalized all his arrangements to be transferred to a rehabilitation hospital until he is ready to live on his own again. I spoke with him last night, he's very weak. It hurts to hear him try so hard just to breathe.

What hurts more is his roommate who somehow believes I should serve as a doormat for his emotional and drunken outbursts. I did my best to be rational with him during the first call, but hung up. The second call he apologized but I had to hang up again, his second vodka was weighing heavily on his kindness. The third call I ignored. An hour later I took the forth call and within moments told him to loose my number. Cooyon.

Though I don't owe an explanation to anyone why I am doing for Blue what I am I was pressed for an answer. The wrong words were said. Given how tired and deeply sad I am this has come to be I reacted when it was suggested I'm just trying to run Blue's life so my ego is stroked and I get his things if he dies. Nope, that didn't set well.

I went old school in three brief but unacceptable words. But, when dealing with the world sometimes you have to work on their terms. God forgive me.

Checked in on my mom today, I don't think she's doing as well as should be. But she has medicine and is wiling to ride it out. Hopefully while we are having yet another cold snap and storm she doesn't need to return to the ER, though she implies she might.

I didn't talk to Sis today either. Got three texts from her early in the day telling me to ignore the garbage that Blue's roommate is throwing at me. She assures me if Blue didn't want me to be involved he would never have called or asked for help or made me his legal representative. That seems obvious, but I'm tired, weary and let myself fall for unkindness in my weak moments.

I think I've caught up on my sleep finally. Next is to get caught up on reading, studying and homework. About a third of the house is back in order, too. Progress after a three month nosedive, I'm feeling pretty darned good over all.

One thing I have to work out better is getting to church. I understand the old girls have their lovely cars and don't want to drive on messy, icy roads or after dark. But I NEED to be at church. I've committed to be involved in a few things then don't show cause my rides cancel, I'm not comfortable with that. Gotta get some reliable rides and keep the sweetie ladies for backups.

Tomorrow is symphony night. Lord willing the weather will hold up so my friend who is going with me (or I her as it were) will be able to drive on the dark, snowy roads. We intend to have dinner at church first, it's the Annual Hunter's Wild Game Dinner. If I manage to get there I'll be putting away some "game" for sure. Looking very forward to eating something from the woods and lakes.

Tried to watch the Olympics tonight. Sadly it takes having a cable subscription. I borrow a connection so don't have the password. Maybe I'll catch some clips on Facebook or elsewhere. I so enjoy watching figure skating, snowboarding, alpine skiing and luge. It's a marvel to see what the trained human body can accomplish.

God has shown me the strength of his love for me during this week. With one brief exception I have a peace in situations I normally would have been trying to keep every atom in existence balanced in my hands. I'm blessed to have a place in God's hands where I can rest and simply be prayerful and cared for, feeling His love enfolding my being. Amen!