it's. weird being. seperated. so wake me up when it's all over. when i'm wiser and i'm older. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done. may 13, 2015 in Evan

‘ no I didn’t suddenly get married and then decide it wasn’t working since the last time I wrote. uh no. i’m referring to evan and I. we’re not separated [well I mean if I’ve never been marired then.........]. no uh. I mean. i’m separating myself from him. I have been. since like april 11th. so it’s been 2 months and 2 days really. but during a wk. i was overseas, so. I feel. weirdly empty. and i’m not i’m actually getting er fuller in a sense. i’m not being as reliant on him. [he’s not the most reliable person, so]. I just spent so much time being invested in him in us. I feel lime i’m missing a part of me. [er like i’m missing a part of me I mean]. and again i’m not since I had that part before we even met which now feels like a v. long time ago. i’m not used to being this. unattached. this. um separated as it were. been a long time.
but see the thing is. I am waking up. and it is all over. [oh and also. in order to be old and wise one’s young and stupid first]. not. I mean not in a bad way [wow I sure defend myself a lot]. but in that. the um. well now I have what is working. for us. well for me anyway. whereas before what we had wasn’t. which is what I mean by ‘it is all over’. that part. the part that wasn’t working. and that’s what woke me up as it were.
closing time..........one last call for alcohol. every beginning is some new beginning’s end *[or however it goes] ‘