I want to stop having feelings for him!!! in Since OD is shutting down....

Soo....I had to change my number a couple of days ago and decided to text my new digits to my ex. Well one thing lead to another and he came over yesterday and I gave him a bj. I just don't know why I continue to allow this unhealthy person into my life because I know that it will never be what I want it to be and because he does NOTHING to make me happy but I just can't seem to let go completely. I got to see him yesterday for about an hour for the first time in about 2 and half months. I don't let things he says get to me like I used to and I don't want to start that again so I honestly hope he just leaves me alone. I've been doing so well doing my own thing and I just don't want to back slide into falling back under his meanness and the affect it had on me. He told me yesterday that if chances come up for him to get laid, he's not going to say no. It bothered me but at least he was honest and I don't plan to sleep with him. Again, I'm not on birth control and I'm not going to be put in the situation where we start having sex and all my feelings for him come back and I end up right back where I was. I am just not going to let myself go back down that road. It's not worth it. HE is not worth it. I know I'm strong enough to say no. I just have to stick to it. I know that he's nothing more than a joke, a sick one at that and all he wants to do is hurt me because he just doesn't give a fuck. Well, I have too much going on now, too much to live for to let someone like him put me back into a depression that made me weak and didn't do me a bit of good. I have to leave him alone and let it be what it is. Easier said that done of course but I can't let him distract me from living my life to the fullest. I'm just not going to allow it again.