Movie Monday in Come Down

Oops, didn’t think to have movie time later and I could have gone with him…

I guess that’s a good sign that I didn’t even think that until he mentioned it....

I just needed to get out and not be in that damn apartment all day with people I don’t talk to or feel comfortable around.

I’m doing my best to enjoy this moment but times are still surreal for me.

I don’t know what others truely think about me. I don’t know what is said about me. The only think that makes me okay with it (eases my anxiety) when I remind myself that “they always talk shit about every person they speak of”. Plus I know that there are a lot of things about myself that people are uncomfortable with or don’t understand.

I’m an introvert, emotional…naive, oblivious of things at the beginning, and poor social skills. I’m okay with myself and my hobbies and learn to deal with that. Thats good enough and I can be happy and satisfied if I can support myself. As I get older and meet more people, I know whats worth doing.

At this point, I’m deciding to be a loner. I’m chosing to be a loner now.

I won’t intentionally risk being hurt by more people. I’m so destorhed that I can’t care or gain any interest in anyone. Maybe thats just from being isolated though. Maybe I’m confusing lust and love or friendliness… or whatever…

Ugh.
Me talking in my sleep last night and catching myself while someone was still on the couch watching tv, worries me and it’s making things feel eerie for me today. At least I was able to go to sleep though. I’m glad the two IPAs knocked me out. Can’t wait to have peace abd quiet again, in my own home…

Last updated August 06, 2018