"THE IDEA OF YOU" in "WRITER@WORK: Stories From A Lone, Urban Girl"

Let’s just be honest here. Sometimes (and to some people), how you see yourself alone is not enough. You still need some validation from other people around you, especially those you find matter most. How do you get that, though?

Some things should be earned. You don’t get them for free. Choose wisely and carefully, so they won’t get the wrong idea.

Still, it’s tricky. Once you earn it the wrong way, it’s hard to find your way back to the truth about you. One must have a clear goal before they even start approaching other people. Simply playing the guessing game might be dangerous too.

Some people choose to attract attention or just opt for genuine curiousity and honesty. They understand peace and harmony. They’d rather not cause confusion or anger from what they do to others.

Some people just treat others with no pretenses, no lies. They let the world see their real selves. What the world see, what the world gets. No pretenses, no lies. It’s all just that simple. Knowing that it’s impossible to please everybody in the whole world, they know not to expect so much. In fact, they’d rather not expect anything at all.

Whether they’re liked or not, it doesn’t matter. They’re all about sharing experiences and delivering messages. Likes and shares (and even followers) are bonuses. They’re not that hungry for attention, acknowledgment, and admiration.

In the end, their followers are the most genuine ones. (Well, mostly I hope.) They don’t obey blindly. They don’t just praise, but criticise constructively.

If that’s the idea of you that you present to the world, then congratulations. You’ve got nothing to worry about and nothing to hide. You’ve been honest from the very start.

However, other people somehow find that being who they are is not good enough, which is actually a shame. They feel that they need to be more in order to impress more people out there in the world.

Somehow, they decide to invent new personalities inside. They fabricate stories to make themselves sound and look more interesting. They want to feel and become that amazing.
At first, they manage to charm and make so many people love them so much. This also works wonders for the lonely souls, those who long for companionship and someone to feel at home with.

However, this never really lasts. (What really does, anyway?) In fact, this has always been nothing but a mere illusion. They can never provide what they have promised too many. Not now, not ever. Not in this cyberspace, not even in the real world.

They can’t, because they won’t. They’re incapable of caring about other people – not even genuinely. It’s all about them, them, and once again, them. They just need an audience. They need attention.

What happens when people start noticing the ugly truth about them? They freak out. Before things worsen, they usually do what they only know best:

Fight or flight. The fight they can only do is either make some (lame) excuses or act defensive. It’s anything to avoid the questions and second-guesses. Dodge them as they may. Forget about getting at least one straight answer from them. Once they realise that they run out of ammunition (no more lame excuses), they simply take the last flight out, like cowards.

What happens next? They simply start somewhere else new. New environment, new people, and new personalities. A clean slate, even if it’s only make-believe.

What happens when the past keeps chasing after them, affecting the new people around them? It’s just the same pattern they keep on repeating.

“They’re the ones who hurt me. They drained me out. All they did was take, take, and take but never give.”

“I wish they’d leave me alone…”

“They just don’t matter like you do.”

Anything to keep up with the idea of themselves they’ve already built. Such a desperate attempt to be loved. How sad.

In the end, one way or another, the truth always comes out. From then on, we all know the risk of trying too hard to impress the whole world.

In that case, which side do you prefer to show – at least to people who matter most to you (or so you claim)? Is it the real you…or the idea of you?

R.