Tired in My Fucking Feelings

Tired of being strong.
Tired of being the happy silly drunk girl.
Tired of making people laugh at my expense.
Tired of fighting for the attention of the unworthy.
Tired of pushing g away those that they ro help.
I dont feel like I deserve it.
Tired of making everyone else happy.
Because I can’t make me happy.
Tired of playing pretend.
Tired of hising.
Tired of living up to a reputation I never wanted.
Tired of bot having anyone I trust to talk to.
Tired of feeling obligated to explain my triggers.
Tired of being helpful.
Tired of deli g different and alone.
Tired of carrying a heavy weight as my struggle goes unappreciated.
Tired of talking g to anyone.
Just.
Fucking.
Tired.

And I wish J were here
Not sure what I’d do if he was.
Just can’t handle it right now.
Emdr is intense.
I dont think I’m ready.

Goodnight.