Thankful Thursday/ Silly Putty in The Daily (2014)

Today was my math exam. I think I passed but not by a great margin. It is only worth 10% though. I can bounce back.

Not too much other than this. Today was tiring. I don't even know if I can fully put into words what kind of tiring it was. Just one of those days where you feel stretched thin. Not in a "Oh, I am so busy!" sort of way, but in a... everything feels like it is bending me out of shape and pulling me like silly putty. Kind of a silly/melodramatic metaphor. I am not sure how else to say it. I am just tired. Every interaction felt forced. Like I couldn't quite speak the way humans do.

Anyway, I've decided to steal an idea I've been seeing a lot of the people I follow do: Thankful Thursday. I love love love reading people's Thankful Thursday entries and I think I need to express some gratitude. I do this nightly in my paper journal, and I find that it is good to invite some positivity in before bed, especially when I have had a less than perfect day. I'll keep it brief this time because I can hear Liz getting ready to come to bed in the next room and I wanna cuddle up with her when she gets here.

So, here

1) I am thankful that for now, it seems the worst of my depression is past. I can get up and ride the bus to school and go about the day without feeling like there is this dark cloud above me. My anxiety is still bad, but it has eased with my depression. I can talk to people now without feeling like I need to run away. This seems like a small thing, but it has improved my life so much. I am less angry and short tempered, Liz and I are more affectionate with each other and bicker less. I am making time for my friends. Which I guess leads well into....

2) I am thankful for my friends and their infinite patience. I have been a terrible friend for about a year. Maybe more. I have been so busy dealing with my own shit that I completely abandoned everyone I cared about. Well, here I am emerging from this sort of selfish haze to find that many of them are still there. They could easily have given up on me, but they didn't. I know some wonderful, compassionate, amazing people and I am so thankful to have them in my life.

3) That Liz is willing to come with me all the way up to Burnaby mountain to study when she could just stay in our nice toasty apartment because I am anxious and she knows I need the support. Uhm, seriously, how lucky am I? And she bought me a mini-watermelon after her electrolysis appointment because she knew I would need something to eat but that it would be too late for me to eat a meal and she only bought one because it was expensive but she wanted me to have it. So, you know, thoughtful and cute as hell ;)

5) Prosebox. And OpenDiary. I don't think I can understate how positive of a force you people have been in my life. So, I am thankful for YOU!