"GETTING BY VERSUS GETTING BACK ON YOUR FEET" in "WRITER@WORK: Stories From A Lone, Urban Girl"

“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, but I’ll get by.”

Perhaps this conversation is familiar to you. Maybe you’ve been one of them – or just another bystander witnessing it all.
However, that’s not exactly enough to convince yourself – or anyone – that you’re going to be alright. You’re supposed to say:
“I’ll find my way…to get back on my feet…again and again.”
I used to say the first one a lot when I was down, before figuring out the difference with the latter. (Mind you, this is my personal experience as an ESL student – and later, a teacher.)

Getting By
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to just ‘get by’. It’s still one level up from being ‘hopeless’ or ‘I’d rather die than staying alive this way’ kind of state. Instead of completely giving up, you try your best to get out of your previously messy situation. With or without the help of others, there’s no difference there.
However, you should just not stop right there. Carry on. I mean, sure, it’s nice if you can sustain your life from just one paycheck to another. It’s alright if you like where you are now. What’s your next move, though? What if something else happens and there’s a change that you need to do more?
This is why getting by is still not good enough. You have to do more than that. It’s not just hitting another level, but more levels up.

Getting Back On Your Feet
When you play chess, you have to think at least three steps ahead. Now, I know I’m not a pro in that game. Still, I try to apply that strategy in real life. One of the examples is to not dwell on one failed strategy instead of quickly figuring out the next. It’s not easy, but I still do.
Sounds ambitious to you? Maybe, but one needs to. This way, you won’t spend too much time fretting about what’s already gone – or constantly blaming other people for not doing what you’ve asked them to.
Getting back on your feet again is more than just surviving. It takes a whole lot more than just escaping your previous mess. It’s all about being twice – or perhaps thrice, just like three steps ahead in chess – stronger than before. It’s about making sure that you won’t fall back into the same deep hole you were once in.
Hopefully this time, you’ll last longer on top.

R.