With The Lights Out It’s Less Dangerous in Chapter 9 : Oil Above Water

People tell me they worry about me. They worry because I won’t open up, they worry because I’m so dark minded, they worry because I seem so lost inside. The past has taught me many lessons; the most important being “be careful who you open up to.” One of two things happen when you open up to someone - they don’t really give a shit and they disappear OR they do give a give shit but life gets in the way and they disappear. Either way, you’re on to a clear lose-lose situation. I genuinely give up on ever finding anyone in this town who will ever just be there. Sometimes I think I’d like a wee circle of friends and a girlfriend, then I take a reality check. I don’t fit in anywhere, and I really don’t think I want to when I listen to some of the people surrounding me. Sometimes the odd person crops up but obviously life likes to play games with me and they’re snatched out of my life as quickly as they entered it, leaving me with that swirling ache inside, the one of lost hope.
I suppose if there’s no expectation there’ll be no disappointment.