"ANGRY DAYS" in "WRITER@WORK: Stories From A Lone, Urban Girl"

You miss your fasting month. It’s over a month behind you now. It’s been a great cover to calm you down, like it always is. Once it’s gone, you go back to facing your old demons. People who continually test your patience and piss you off. Your own temper.

Reality as it is.

What are you going to do? Some may easily give in to their anger and ruin themselves all over again. Others decide to just shake it off and move on, but which one is actually better?

Some people choose to avoid any conflicts in any way possible, alias playing safe. They pretend they’re not angry. No, I’m just fine. They always (seem to) look okay. The whole world can love or fear them that way, because that makes them look unpredictable.

Others decide to show the world their ugliest side, right away when possible. You hurt me (or people I find matter most), I hurt you back. It’s just that simple. An eye for an eye. Let the world go blind.

The risk is there. Either way, you still have something to lose. Weighing your options carefully is still suggested.

Angry people often die quickly, either through something brash and stupid they do that disregards their own safety. Another possibility is a heart that can’t take any more mental pressure. One day it pops and they’re done. That’s it.

Somewhere along the way, there are people – and even phantom, menacing voices inside your head – telling you a lot of things:

“It’s okay to get angry. You’re only human.”

“Don’t keep it inside. It’s also bad for your health.”

“Sometimes you need to let them know you’re angry. That way, they’d better not mess with you next time. That’s how respect is earned.”

“Being too nice is a weakness. They’ll walk all over you and act as if it’s their privilege and that you deserve to be treated that way.”

Either way, you just want your angry days to be over. You’re afraid of what’s coming soon. You know it’s not going to be pretty.

Still, who knows? If you hold on a little bit longer as you take a deep, slow breath – you might get lucky. There are people who will remind you that you are loved.

Sssh…there’s no need to always be angry. No, seriously.

R.