Indonesia’s “Galau” (Maudlin) Culture: The Mutual Sickness and The Double Standard in "WRITER@WORK: Stories From A Lone, Urban Girl"

This is not the first time I heard complaints regarding Indonesia’s “Galau” (Maudlin) Culture. Some say that’s how the Malay influence has always been, overly sentimental. People here always prefer cheesy or sick, sappy love ballads.

Not only them, romance novels and movies also sell like hot cakes. They have always gained a flood of audience. This works out especially if the stories are long enough and quite a tear-jerker, but still with a happy ending.

There’s still more. Social media is sometimes treated more like a diary to some. Look, so many spill their hearts out. Whether you have a crush on someone that you can’t stop thinking about them, you fall in love that you can’t seem to eat, you’re happy to have found someone, you miss them so much, you fight that you bitch about each other online, you break up with a vengeance in the hearts…

…and the list could go on much longer than this writing. It’s okay to argue that everyone is entitled to express their emotions/feelings/opinions. Especially when they’re sad. Can you hide and hold that back? You might go crazy.

It’s your choice to refuse to admit that you yourself have also gone through this ‘embarrassing phase’. We’re only human. No matter how tough, there are some mellow moments when we feel like talking to someone or some people.

The Mutual Sickness

Like it or not, the ‘galau’ culture is still around. Besides accusing the influences of Malay, Hollywood, and Bollywood, telenovellas are also to blame here. Our local sinetrons (or electronic cinemas) follow the same patterns, selling dreams and illusions. The matters of romance are treated more like a do-or-die. Ugh.

“No wonder Indonesians are heading nowhere,” a friend once complained. They wouldn’t be the first. “The people here are so mellow. They get heartbroken and then act as if they’re going to die.”

You’re welcome to agree or even hate it. It sometimes feels personally exhausting with people who continuously lament about their heartbreaks and other 1001 related issues. It’s as if they critically need the whole world’s attention, compared to those with much bigger and more serious problems: years of physical ailment, victims of a spousal abuse, and those who have been politically displaced.

However, if you believe in civil rights to complain about whatever you like on social media, doesn’t that feel like picking a fight? Not to mention the impression of:

The Double Standard

“People can post whatever the hell they like on social media. Who are we to tell them what to do?”

“It’s not wrong to remind them. Besides, I’m sick to death of reading their social media negative posts.”

“Then don’t read them.”

“I can still see them!”

“For God’s sake, you can just unlike/unfollow/mute, or block them if you may. You’re no different, complaining a lot too!”

“Fine, if you don’t wanna hear my stories anymore!”

???

awkward silence

..........

Double standard feels good. We only need to hear our own perspectives.

For example: our issues feel bigger, so we feel entitled to complain – to anybody if necessary. We need to express ourselves freely and be heard without judgment. As much as we need and want to, without bothering whether people might feel bored to death by it.

How do we deal with those who are not sympathetic enough and consider us “baperan” (bawa perasaan or exagerratingly melancholy)? We could get angry and consider them not understanding. Well, some are extreme enough to write them off from friendship.

Problems solved? Not really. Just your friendship that ends. Isn’t it a loss? Who knows someday, you might still need each other. If not, your choice.

Now let’s turn the table around. If you can still put up with their exaggerated sentimentality and even empathise with them, congrats. If not, that’s okay. Just be ready when they accuse you of using a double standard, because you used to be quite maudlin too. Heh.

What can we do? People are different.

Why am I writing this? I’ve already been in different positions. I’ve been the mellow type that people got sick of me. I’ve hated the maudlin type whom I considered cry-babies and such attention-seekers. I’ve been even disturbed by the same kind who mercilessly bully the maudlin type – because I think they’re such arrogant jerks and also still ‘in denial’.

Well, that’s how some Indonesians are like sometimes. They love being so sentimental, but at the same time also love making fun of other people for being mellow too. Kind of inconsistent, isn’t it?

Now, I’m just being an observer. I also prefer looking for solutions. Since you can’t really tell people not to be overly sentimental, then let’s just show them a better example, starting from you. Why not? It’s a harsh reminder to all of us:

This life ain’t all about you.

R.