It's been a good minute. in Since OD is shutting down....

I haven’t wrote for quite some time!! I’ve just been so busy taking care of little one, working, cleaning/organizing and planning my child’s birthday party that I haven’t had time. I can’t believe she’s going to be 1 in about 2 weeks already!!

Things are still pretty much the same. I still have zero support here. BD hasn’t been around for about 6 weeks and I told him the last time he was here after dealing with his meanness/disrespect for him to go away and stay away. He’s just so miserable to deal with and I haven’t even had regular contact with him in quite some time, not like I ever did. My friend still has him blocked and so do I. My child was super sick on Saturday but because I can’t ever find someone to cover my shift, I still took her to daycare and within about an hour they were messaging me to come get her. She had a really high fever and hardly drank anything all day. I took her to the dr and they checked for strep but that takes 48 hours so I’m sure they’ll call with the results this evening but she’s fine now. She back to her normal self.

I was super concerned because she had never been so sick before. His brother texted me the other day and asked how we were but didn’t mention anything about seeing her. I told him if they wanted her on her birthday that they could have her but he didn’t respond. Because I was so worried about her Saturday night, I had texted him and he said that he’d pray for her. Uh yeah, that’s great. I was also upset because I had to leave work and lose money because I don’t have anyone I can call to go get her and keep her until I get off work and I still have to pay even though I picked her up after about an hour and a half of her being there. Awesome, right!

For awhile I had a lot of pain in my left shoulder to the point that I could barely move my arm and couldn’t turn my head to the left so I reached out to her sperm donor and asked him if he could come watch her so I could nap but he said no because I didn’t ask nicely enough and he was ‘busy’ so yeah…it’s never going to change. I have given this guy plenty of chances in the past year because all it does is give him the control that he desperately craves and he STILL WON’T HELP!

I haven’t heard from my parents in 6 months now. I’m angry that they checked out but I also am very glad that I don’t have to deal with them mooching off me anymore too. That’s yet another situation that is never going to change.

Anyways, I have gotten rid of a bunch of hoard and my house isn’t just a cluttered mess anymore. I am so glad that I have worked as hard as I have because things are finally the way I want them.

I am still very much on my own and I have been thinking a lot about my future and what it is I really want. I have no real reason to stay here other than my job. I can say that my child and I are doing fine, some days are harder than other though but I manage.

Baby is napping so I’m gonna lay down for awhile. More later.