“Ya ‘Kay? Ya ‘Kay?” in Musings

My sweet, sassy, but very sensitive almost 2 year old has a habit I think we all should adopt. Anytime anyone sneezes, coughs, or falls down and gets hurt she will go up to that person and ask:

“Ya ‘kay? Ya ‘kay?”

Which is toddler speak for “Are you ok?” It’s become a phrase we’ve adopted in our household mostly as a joke.

But as so many public suicides have been in the news and people are refocusing on mental health I think it’s important that we use my toddler as an example. But instead of asking someone if they’re OK after they sneeze ask them when they seem down. When something just isn’t quite right. If you know they’ve had mental health problems in the past. Ask people if they’re okay— and really desire to hear the answer— all the time as a part of your life.

Maybe they’ll ignore it. Maybe they’ll lie and say they’re ok when they aren’t. But maybe it’ll be the thing that keeps them anchored. Maybe it’ll be the thing that reminds them that they’re loved. Maybe it’ll be the thing that gives them hope that there is some good left in the world.

Coming from someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life I know how helpful it has been to be checked in on from time to time. We ask people with depression to reach out and get help when they’re struggling but sometimes you’re just too deep and you need that hand reaching in.

(Also: I’ll be back with an actual update sometimes. This was just on my mind so I needed to write it)