Speechless in Current Events

I have been pretty speechless. I am not sure what happened but my depression undermined all the hard work I had put into myself this last few years. I didn’t exactly fall apart and lose control of anything but I lost all my confidence. My mind has blocked out the toxic thinking I had during that attack and now I don’t know how to connect to anyone. I feel so vulnerable and delicate. I couldn’t return calls and texts and I removed myself from all social media accounts where family and friends are connected to me. I have been slowly reconnecting to everybody and I am going to find a therapist to help me on this journey I am on. I am not above help.
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I don’t understand why this happened. I am the best I have ever been. I have never had this much opportunity to do and go anywhere and I don’t understand why my mind won’t let me be fearless.