Mother's Day Blues in Adventures of New baby and family

I don’t like Mother’s Day…
There really isn’t a reason for me to hate it....
I still have a mother, I am a mother.... all my wishes and dreams came true I guess..
But .....as everybody celebrates Mother’s Day the feeling of being an inantiquate mother comes out. I’m nothing but a piece of garbage. Mother?? Ha ha you??? you call yourself a mother?

Maybe back in the early days when I was a mother. A newbie… Some told me I didn’t do anything with my child.. Till this day it still hurts.
At the time I was very poor, my husband was very ill and my child was just getting diagnosed with disabilities. I was a lousy mother, wife and all around sucked at life. Or at least I felt that way. I didn’t have that picture perfect family and that’s why I sucked at life. My son wasn’t brilliant, my husband wasn’t well and my home wasn’t very clean either as I was trying to keep it together being the only one that could care for the child (husband had seizures), work and make sure everybody got to their appointments. I was a very spent caregiver. My parents would basically make me cry every time I asked them if they could watch my son. I would have to drag him to the hospital with my sick husband as no one would watch him. I couldn’t afford daycare and their is a waiting list to get help. I could only use it for working. His parents wouldn’t even acknowledge he was sick and told him to knock it off. They refused to visit him except for like 2-3 times. He was in the hospital well over 100 times.
All of this and they tell me I didn’t do anything with my son.
My exhausted body hurt. My mind was foggy. I cried ....
What happened to it takes a village to raise a child??
Sorry you chose to have him…I felt like. All alone, world on my shoulders.
My normal friends either had kids and were busy or didn’t and didn’t understand.

It got to were I would do things with my son even if he was in the hospital to get my mind off of things. If we went to this hospital, I would take him.... If we went to that hospital, I would take him.... It was back before facebook that you couldn’t really know what I did. I did start a blog when he was 3.... Ironically on my birthday which is Mother’s Day. He is now 16. 13 yrs a blog.
But that message still sticks… you don’t do anything with them…

Memories… I hope if I can’t can’t erase that awful message that they memories my kids have will someday think.. Wow my mom took us all over.