Moving On in Maniacs, Prophecy, and Old Friends

Usually when I lose my job I am sad for a day. I am usually anxious about finding a new job. I worry about paying the bills because that was what my job was. It was a paycheck. But then after I’ve taken a day or two to relax I think about the place I used to work and I’m relieved that I never have to go back there again. I’m excited about the time I get to spend not working for a little while. I plan things that I couldn’t do while working. Usually that’s how it goes when I lose a job.

But this was different. This job wasn’t a paycheck. I know I will be able to find a new job fairly easily, and it may even pay more than the last one. Yet, every time I think about that place I am sad that I will never get to go back there. It was a place where I belonged. It was home. It wasn’t just performing obligated duties to receive a check. It was helping people I loved. I would do it for free if I were there and they needed help. I loved that job. I think about all the people that I will never get to see again, and I worry that nobody will take care of them as well as I did, or care about them as much as I did.

It’s been a couple days since I was fired, and I’m still sad. Every time I see their faces in my mind I want to cry for missing them. I loved them, each and every one. The worst part is that the people who got me fired tried to make it look like I mistreated those people I care so much about. I would never do that, and everyone knows it too. I am angry that they would try to make me look like someone who would neglect people who are vulnerable and need my help. It’s exactly opposite of who I am, and extremely offensive.

But I did not leave this job with nothing. While I was there I gained many good references, experience, and a lot of good memories. I gained confidence, and skills that will stay with me throughout my lifetime. I don’t regret a single second I spent taking care of those guys. I cannot be too upset about this. I asked God to show me if it was time for me to move on. I told him to push me in the right direction by force if necessary since I have a hard time taking a hint. I know that he has other plans for me, and that he’s watching over me. I know that this means it is time for me to go somewhere new and help other people. I am excited to see where this journey will take me next. God will send me where he needs me, and I am happy to go. I am happy to have a bit of time to spend with my son. I am thankful for every experience he gave me, and all the many blessings he’s brought so far. But I miss my residents. I hope that the next job will provide me with co-workers who have a relationship with God too. It gets lonely to travel alone.