Statements in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

(1) Thank you all for birthday wishes!
(2) I appreciated all of your sharing on your own opinions of abortion. I didn’t really state mine because (I’m a lawyer therefore) the number of “but then you have to remember” statements would be infuriating. But if I were to attempt to brutally condense my entire opinion down to at least a single sentence it would be: “Any total ban on abortion is irresponsible, cruel, and asinine. If you can’t think of a single instance where you would be okay with abortion… I would encourage you to try harder. Incest, rape, health of the mother… think hard.”
(3) Tornadoes/Extreme Weather is the big news of the day in Iowa today.
(4) I know that I had sex a few nights ago… and I’m lucky for it… but I am hoping and trying to get some sexual contact on my birthday. I know that some men get blowjobs (on the reg or on their birthday) and my Wife has been adamant on the list of no… so no bj, no handy, no any of that. Which actually specifically makes it more difficult to do things as there is very little room for escalation. In other words… it’s like “Sirloin or Baloney but nothing in between.” And yeah… it is my birthday, I’m going to try for Sirloin. HERE IS AN IMPORTANT AND FRUSTRATING ETHICAL QUESTION: I purchased alcohol because I want to drink on my birthday… Dark and Stormy… the official drink of Bermuda.... I’m 3rd Generation American from Bermuda on my Dad’s side… 3rd Generation American from Norway on my Mom’s side. IF I’m using “3rd Generation” correctly. Anyway… the important ethics question. I realize and accept that I’m not thrilled about wife’s need to get trashed in order to be intimate with me. It is a long standing sore point because… I have to ask “Aren’t I worth more?” Particularly that I’m worth more in the sense of… hearing “I love you”, getting unsolicited kisses, having a sexual encounter with my wife that was not largely inspired by alcohol… these things. But disregarding my own hangups about wife needing alcohol to have sex with me.... am I a monster if I ply her with booze with the intent to get her into a more suggestible state to agree to sex on my birthday? Like… I say that, I think that and it just sounds like rape. Like… that’s the definition of rape. Getting a woman to drink with the intention that she then has sex with me… that sounds rapey.

(5) I don’t know if this is selfish or sick or makes sense but… do you know what I want for my birthday? Like… what I’d really want? I would want to take a list of people I know or used to know; select maybe 30 or 40; and just have a long lunch with them. Hang out, see how they are, catch up, that kind of thing. That’s what I’d want.