oneupsmanship in poetry

god tried to kill me with dog piss
three am stumbling toward the bathroom
linoleum slicked with canine anxiety
trying to set me up for the slow and
lonely humiliating demise that would
fit the current pattern of my life
my cracked head bleeding out in a
puddle of poodle piss house-sitting
the dog probably barking at me as
my life draining away and no one
coming to check on me for days
god tried to kill me with dog piss
but the joke’s on you, Yahweh
my arms were just long enough
to catch the walls of my
childhood home and I ended
up only painfully turning
my ankle there in the dark
you’ll have to do worse, God
you’ll have to find a way that
really drives the point home
of how stupid it has all become
before you can take me away
dog piss doesn’t degrade me enough
you’re going to have to think of
something outlandishly humiliating
to top me off at this point
am I daring you to try?
am I daring you to try?