Post surgery one month in In the Kingdom of Suzu

It has been a month since I had surgery and everything is going well. The doctor and therapists are very pleased with my progress. I am down to going to therapy twice a week and then do them at home. I am cleared to go back to work a week from this coming Monday altho, if I wanted to stay out longer, they would accommodate that but I think it s time for me to go back altho I don’t miss it.

Things with Jeff and I are so-so. He sees the counselor once a week and then we both go together once a week. Jeff is very depressed and it is frustrating because all the things that have been suggested to him he resists.

He doesn’t want to take an anti-depressant and when he finally tried welbruton he felt like he was on speed after only taking it in the a.m. for four days. Our family dr then prescribed something to help him sleep and that made him so groggy the whole next day and still didn’t help him sleep. He is trying St. John’s wort but doesn’t know if it is helping. The thing is all of that takes time before you see results.

He retired officially April 11 and is now regretting that but he can’t go back even part-time. He doesn’t want to get a part-time job either. He does go for walks most days and I do see that he is in a better mood when he comes back, especially if it is a sunny day but then he spends the rest of his time playing games on the computer.

As mentioned before, it is very frustrating and I still am not sure where we stand. He is struggling with a lot of issues. I just wish he would allow me in and let me help him. He was always meticulous about his grooming and while he still takes a shower every day and does shave, he has let his hair go and that is not like him at all.

He s still doing music—they are recording a CD but it is more a CD to show what they did and not for club owners. The band has a ne gig DMV up,and that is it as none fmthe band members are going (or want) to find new gigs.

I have been reading all of you but I just don’t seem to have it in me to make any comments—I think I have also been experiencing som depression litho not nearly to the extent Jeff is. In a way it is time for me to go back to work, but I am not really looking forward to it.

Thanks for listening.

I should add that while he hasn’t had any contact with the other person and she is only unfriended on FB, I did block her from sending him any messages. Unfortunately, we have a mutual friend who tags Jeff in his posts if they are band related and she always “likes” and sometimes makes comments. I have gone on Jeff’s page a couple of times and untagged him if he hasn’t see the post but I feel very dishonest dong that. Seeing her name come up (I only unfriended her myself) upsets me but I am not quite sure what I can do about it. I could probably go on Jeff’s FB page and block her but like I said, I feel dishonest when I have removed a post so I don’t know if I could actually take that step. I have debated asking the mutual friend to not tag him but don’t know if I could trust him as he is Jeff’s band mate and guitar teacher. I also don’t know how much he knows about the situation altho he did say to Jeff a few months ago that perhaps we should separate for awhile. I did not like when Jeff told me that. So I am trying to get Kevin on my side by sending food up to him when Jeff goes for his lesson which he does appreciate as he lives alone. I just don’t know if I could trust him.

Last updated May 01, 2018