Addiction in In My World

My friend and I were talking about addiction one night and the fact that I’ve never been addicted to any substances or anything. I looked to the sky, took a long deep breath and that’s when I realized… I don’t get addicted to things, I get addicted to people.

I cling to certain people as if not being around them might just make me float away or disappear. I borrow things that remind me of them as a way to bridge the gap until we’re together again. There’s an old saying about how you leave things with people (i.e. forgetting things at their house) subconsciously as a way to give you an excuse to come back. I do that but instead of leaving things I take them.

I have several hoodies that belong to boyfriend, one that belongs to a friend from a lifetime ago, and one that belonged to my soulmate before he… before we lost him. I have a hat someone left with me and I have yours. A promise of a day. I have your necklace, a shoddy excuse about not being yourself but the truth lies within its story. I was gifted a blanket of his And I took his handwriting… a permanent reminder of our connection.

I get something from each of them that I just don’t get from anyone else. I think too much but I thought you would want to know.

I know that I can be too much sometimes… too clingy, to needy, to annoying, and too whatever else applies here.. I’m too much because I’m afraid of losing you.