End of the Semester Blues Fall 2004-Spring 2005 in Inside My Head

End of the Semester Blues Fall 2004-Spring 2005 5/5/2005

Funny...four years ago when I was a freshman at Syracuse University, I couldn't wait to go home. At the end of finals my first year I left Syracuse University on May 2nd since my finals had ended the night before. I didn't even think about staying late. Now, four years later, I don't want to leave. It's 6:43 in the morning and I'm starting to clean up my room so it's easier to pack. I hate this feeling...like everything is ending. Last year my best friends graduated. This year almost all of my remaining friends are graduating. I'm not sorry I'm staying an extra year; I just wish everyone else was as well.

I look back and this past year and smile; it hasn't been always wonderful, but once again I've gone through changes and experienced things I didn't think I would. I lived by myself for awhile, an experience I hated and don't care to repeat. I was hurt by two men and think I may be falling in love with a third. I lost some old friends and made some new ones. I grew closer to my pledge class, but this semester I felt like I grew apart. It's partly my fault since I spend so much of my time with Mike, Jennie, and Bridgette. But they have always made sure to include me in their plans and make me feel wanted, whereas my pledge class never really did. This past semester in the house on 'M' street has been a roller coaster ride; I've constantly had money problems, issues with people not cleaning or leaving the thermostat on 60 in the dead of winter...but I wouldn't go back into my one-person apartment for anything in the world. These girls gave me an amazing (for the most part) second semester.

The semester is not quite over so I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I know that everything will get hectic with the end-of-the-year parties, Bar Crawl, and packing so I figured I'd steal a quiet moment while I have the chance.

My father once asked me at the end of my freshman year if I was glad that I went away to college. I didn't answer him at the time, but I remember thinking to myself, "Ask me in four years and I'll have an answer." Although I am not graduating, it is four years later and I now know I can definitively say "Abso-fucking-lutely."

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