This Weekend... in Inside My Head

This Weekend... 4/11/2005

Thursday sucked because Mike and I got into a semi-serious fight. I had planned to stay in and drink with him but then forgot that my pledge class and I had our pledge class night with our pledges. I had made my plans with my pledge class first, so I told Mike to hang out at my house for two hours while I was with my pledge class. It wasn't like he was alone...Bridgette and Jennie were there, we had plenty of liquor, and he could nap or watch tv while I was doing my sorority thing. When my pledge class asked me to go out with them dt afterwards I had said no because I really wanted to be with Mike. When I got home, however, he was gone and there was a voicemail from him saying that he went over to Tim's house with my housemates.

I was really pissed because A) Everyone sounded like they were really drunk over there and I now could not drink because i had to drive over there...I didn't feel like hanging out with a house full of drunk people, most of which were not my friends. B ) I was pissed that Mike left without me since he's always telling me to not leave without him when we're planning to go dt or something. So I called him and we got into a fight...I said I didn't want to go there and he told me to just come over and to call him in a little while. I was really pissed and ended up going back over to my pledge class's house and went dt with them. I didn't call Mike, which was probably pretty dumb. He called me at 12:45, pretty peeved because I didn't call him back and because he didn't know where I was. I was pissed and didn't particularly care. He asked if I was coming home soon and I said I was. Because my pledge class are the biggest bunch of slow pokes, I ended up getting home at 1:40....I was now pissed at them as well because the bars had closed at one and I kept telling them that I needed to get home...at this point I felt bad about what I had done to Mike...

So since Lauren was driving, I just had her drop me off at my house instead of going back to her house and getting my car...I figured it was late enough already and I wanted to get home to Mike...I got home and he was asleep. So now, I'm pissed at myself and at him because he's the one that wanted me to come back and now he's sleeping. I was pissed at him because he left me and we ended up not even really hanging out. I was pissed at myself for leaving my car at Lauren's and for not just being more laid back with things. I ended up running around the entire next morning so I could get my car. Ashley had told me that she'd pick me up at 7:45 am and forgot, so finally she picked me up at 9 am after i had showered (and missed my class). Mike had slept with his back to me the entire night, which has never happened before. I had errands all day and called Mike after I was done and before I went to work. I wanted to speak to him about what happened last night, because I didn't want to fight anymore. He was really abrupt with me when I tried calling him and said we needed to talk...he said he was at work and to call me later. I called but he never answered so I basically repeated my request that we talk. He said he's see me at Shabbat 1000, which were were going to with Heather (and 1000 other Jews...not exactly the best place to discuss a fight).

So, of course, following in the pattern of a shitty day, my car died and I ended up missing Shabbat 1000 with Mike and Heather. I just walked into the parking lot after getting off of my shift and attempted to unlock my car door. I knew something was wrong once my power locks failed to work. Luckily, the driver door automatically unlocks itself once the car loses power so I was able to get into my car. I put the key in and nothing happened. I noticed that i had left my lights on so I figured my car just needed a jump start. After calling Heather and Mike to say I wasn't coming (and Henry called me for some reason...) I called AAA to have them jump start my battery. Apparently though, it wasn't my battery so I had them tow it to Monroe Muffler.

Mike called me back asking if I wanted him to come and hang out with me while I waited for AAA but I kept saying no. I didn't want to be with him while we were still quasi-fighting and I didn't want him to see me so distressed and upset. Again. So now I'm freezing cold, I'm carrying all the crap I had in my car in my bag, and I'm starving...I didn't eat dinner because I thought I'd be going to Shabbat 1000....Mike had asked me to call him back once I got home, and I knew that that would be awhile since I planned on taking the bus, so I called him once I ran across the highway and got onto campus. He kept insisting to pick me up on campus, so i finally I agreed. After all, I was exhausted. So he picked me up on campus and we drove back to my house. He actually made me feel a lot better, so I'm glad we got over our tiff...He's fast becoming one of my best friends.

Anyway, that night I went out with Jennie, Laura, Bridget, Tim, Heather, her new boyfriend Trevor, and Mikey, of course. We drank and played Kings before going out. Bridget and Tim left pretty early and we seemed to have lost Heather and Trevor pretty early into the night. So Mike, me, Laura, and Jennie hung out for a chunk of the night.

Saturday night was pretty crazy. Heather and Trevor came over again and Jennie had Laura come over. We hung out and chilled before going dt. Jennie insisted that we go to the Rat first because she wanted to pick up her coke from one of her friends. So Mike and I followed her to the Rat and told Heather I'd meet up with her at Sports Bar later. The Rat was disgustingly crowded and as soon as I got in there I wanted to leave. Jennie left to go to her friend's house to go and pick up the coke, since apparently she wasn't at the Rat. So Mike and I were stuck in the Rat and I was miserable. Finally we went over to Sports Bar to meet up with Heather. Mike was in a bad mood by that time and kept complaining that there's drama every time we go out. (I had been complaining about how Jennie dragged me to the Rat and then left me once we got in there...and then I was upset that one of my friends would be upset with me no matter what I did. Heather would be pissed if I had left her alone in SB for much longer and Jennie would be pissed if I left the Rat before she came back...bit whatever...this sort of drama is normal). So then I started getting pissed and it looked like it would be a crummy night. Heather did tell me later though (because I was worried about Mike being in a bad mood) that he worried the same way about me when my car had died and I told him not to come and keep me company...I don't like that he worries about me, but I'm glad he does at the same time....we drive each other both crazy apparently....

Jennie came back from her friend's house and called me to tell me to come outside SB and wait for her. Mike had already told me that he wanted to leave (it was 1:30 am on a Saturday and I wasn't pleased...). So Mike knew that I was ticked off about leaving with him, but I didn't want to make him walk back by himself because I knew he'd never do that to me. So Mike and I were waiting for Jennie and he seemed anxious to go home...luckily we waited because she saved the night. I had lied for Mike and told both Heather and Jennie that I was the one who wanted to leave, because I knew he felt bad about making me leave when I wanted to stay out. I pulled Jennie aside and finally told her the truth, so she rectified the situtation. She not only offered me coke, but offered Mike coke, who had never done it before. The rest of the night was awesome. We went back into the Rat to do lines in the bathroom. I didn't get that high but Mike definitely did...it was good to see him back in a good mood, even if it was drug-induced. We bounced around from Sports Bar to the Rat for the rest of the night before going to Laura's friend's house to smoke pot. Mike got really exhausted so we ended up leaving early (relatively speaking...it was 4:30 in the morning). The sex was really good...I'm glad it didn't make Mike impotent, because I know it does it to some guys. We slept until almost 2 pm snuggling...That Sunday we ate a very late breakfast, ate Wendy's for a late lunch, and then picnic'd at Beethoven Park with Bridget and Jennie. We came back after dinner and napped before he did his work (at my house). I really needed to do work on my computer but I was so glad he was there and we weren't fighting.

We had sex after his nap...the sex was bad actually. But that was my fault. I had asked him what he wanted me to do, and he asked me to go down on him. I did, but I did a bad job. Mike got me off him and rolled on top of me. I asked if I did something wrong (I know I did but I wanted him to admit it for some reason) and he kept saying no. His only explanation was that he 'wanted to have sex with me.' While having sex he kept trying to kiss me, but I just wanted to stare at the wall. I was so embarrassed at my botched attempt at a blow job...and just when I thought I was getting better at them. He asked me what was wrong and I said it was nothing. Afterwards he cuddled with me and kept saying that I didn't do anything wrong, that he just wanted to make me orgasm. We snuggled for a bit until he went to do work...I made him some coffee and fell asleep. I thought he'd sleep over since it was 1:30 when I last checked, and he was still doing work...When I woke up at 5 am he was gone...kind of made me sad...made me not want the summer to come...I hate sleeping alone now....