Late Night Musings in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

I know this is a title I’ve used before. I know this is a title other people have used before. Now that we are past the most basic of criticisms, let us discuss the real issues.

(1) I have consumed the majority of a bottle of Red Stag Cherry Whiskey this evening. Cherry is a very bizarre flavor in some ways. Cherry Whiskey isn’t great. The Samuel Adams “Cherry Wheat” Beer isn’t great. But it is one of those flavors that is so unique… so fundamentally individual that sometimes you get cravings. I had a craving. I indulged.

(2) Positive/Negative. So… I got a shit ton done today. I got lots done in my life, had a really valuable social conversation with a highly valued (if currently ill) friend, got through most of my Legal List, helped my old law firm, cranked one out (as is the current parlance of barbarism)… I did a lot today. And I was in a good mode because of it!

(3) The meeting with the insurance agent? Ufda. So… minimum we’re looking at over $350 per month for an insurance that covers some Doc visits, some Chiro visits, some Therapy, and some Rx drugs. At most? We’re looking at $615 a month. Already Wife has asked how much my therapy and my gym membership cost as “cost saving measures”. Kind of inapprops in my opinion. I mean, I get it. I’m not working. And, as we discovered, if I start working.... our deductible increases several hundred dollars worth. But still… my mental health and physical health are important. Or so I would have thought. Besides (honestly) almost exclusively due to my family connections we have $135,000 dollars between savings and checking. So… while not “what we want” it is certainly good enough to float on for a while!
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. But seriously? What is the point of having zero debt and zero kids at 34 with 6 figures in the bank if you aren’t using it for comfort? I mean… Wife is nowhere near the mindset of having kids… and I certainly think about retirement but simultaneously think “I’ve known more lawyers who died during their career than died in retirement” so… yeah. We can float on for a while.

(4) The thing I am MOST upset about today? Oh shit. I did not get to the gym. I’m not a “gym rat” who rates his value based on times at the gym but… I really wanted to hit 5 days out of 7 this week! Thursday was supposed to be a swimming day and between Chinese Office, License Registration, Leg Pain, Insurance Meeting, highly valued on-line conversation, grocery shopping, and everything else? I just… didn’t make it to the pool. Again… no big deal but… I may be kind of beating myself up over it. Seriously, heavily. Honestly. Like… I am really beating myself up over this. I hit the gym Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… missed Thursday? Just… honestly, truly.... really upset that I couldn’t force it into my schedule!

(5) I… am a little upset with Wife. Her reaction to our insurance meeting? Was to look at all of “my” expenses and tell me why we shouldn’t pay for them. In other words… my therapy, my gym membership? All expendable. Whereas her chiropractic and her therapy? Essential. Now… I’m me. The Man Able to Spin Anything. There is a reason why I adore Spin City. As an attorney, I’d say that Wife’s issues are the primary negative influences in the marital relationship, thus should take primary monetary focus. As her attorney, I would argue that her issues are of such paramount concern that they should be the primary financial concern. HOWEVER, if I was forced to be my own attorney, I would suggest that my client lives in such an unpleasant, sometimes hostile environment, that his needs (particularly as connected to emotional battery and physical stress/pain) should also be considered valid thus requiring a legal financial value.

(6) This is perhaps a prime example of WHO I AM versus WHAT MAY BE ACCEPTABLE but................. here’s a good allegory. Wife loves Agents of SHIELD. I love comic books. The two are… very different. The best I can say? The Marvel Cinematic Universe is Universe 999. The Marvel Primary Universe is Universe 616. Multi-verse theory. But at the same time? So much of 999 is “close but no cigar” to 616 that.. it deserves a mention. The way I expressed it today? The Marvel Cinematic Universe is like eating somewhere that has your great-grandmother’s recipes. It’s CLOSE to what you were hoping for… but in significant ways, it is different. As an example… the Marvel Cinematic Universe is like if your grandmother made a World Famous Apple Pie with Granny Smith Apples, Cinnamon, and Sugar..... and the pie you bought was Golden Delicious Apples and Sugar. Close… but not quite. Though, and I say this as a DC fan… it is better than Warner Brother’s DC movies! With that shit, it is like your grandmother made Apple Pie with Granny Smith Apples, Cinnamon, Sugar, and Butter… and what you ordered was made of Last Month’s Red Delicious Apples, Sweet and Lo, Tabasco Sauce, and Margarine.

(7) You know those conversations intelligent, emotionally sensitive people have? Where they try to help a relationship by creating introspective moments? Well… that was our therapy this week. Wife’s therapist had a lot of questions about her marriage. My therapist had a lot of questions about our marriage. Not to end on a shitty note but… to go over some interesting aspects! Sadly, we were both often stymied by the questions. Like “Happiest Memory” or “Relationship Strengths” or (I kid you not) my therapist had the question “Why are you married to your partner as opposed to someone else?” It took forever for Wife to think of an answer. :( Though… to be fair… my answer did have the following sentence: “When I met Wife, I was giving considerable thought to pursuing another woman. However, that woman made me feel that she would never be exclusive with me; always looking for the better date, the better lay. So when Wife approached me, I saw the best parts of my first choice without the negative aspects.” That is sincere. I’m not proud of it, but I’m honest about it.

This may or may not be my last entry of the week. I am planning to bring a laptop with me to MBFITWW but not sure if I’ll post on PB. What I will likely do is (1) make sure Chinese Firm isn’t harassing me; (2) make sure the State of Iowa isn’t harassing me; (3) write some erotica; (4) try to Facebook Message the uniquely limited amount of people I speak with on any regularity. :)