You came into my life with such a gracious nature I almost mistook you for an old friend. With an awkward touch I began to fall in love with you within days and within weeks I could not stand to be away from you. Enveloped with a familiar childlike kiss we began our lives; I grew older with you and your maturity developed slowly over the years. We complemented each other. We were happy. We were comfortable.
Then time deceived us and we began talking to each other less, began straying away from each others passions. I doubted your interest in my life; you relied too heavily on me to take care of you without giving anything in return. I began romancing the both of us. Buying you and me both of the Christmas presents, planning the holidays and anniversaries. I began to resent you and purposely started living foolishly to catch your attention. But it did not work; you instead found other distractions and stayed further away from me. We were growing apart so quickly you did not even notice when I left. You thought I was being irrational and would be back home to cook you dinner before seven.
We were both foolish. We both were not prepared. We had no idea how to react. We had never fallen out of love for no reason at all. It died. The once vibrant color of blue faded yellow then red then vanished. I left wanting you to come after me-show me the same love you showed me in the beginning. instead you informed me later that after two weeks you accepted we were over and moved on. I cried for days not understanding how three years of my time meant so little to you. And you had the nerve to tell me that you were ready to marry me, but I left before you could ask.
After one month I missed you so much i asked if we could have dinner. Over cheap nachos you discussed how you would like to remain friends. I wanted to grab you and say lets us give us another shot. I mean if i still love you after an entire month of silence it had to mean something. But before i could speak you started to discuss how you were doing great and that you had been dating--and that you enjoyed it. You then went on to advise me to go on some dates. I began to cry. You hugged me and tried to console me over your speech of how dating other people will help us. How dating other people will help teach you to show your feelings more. I wanted to slap you-hard. But instead I bowed out and walked away.
I had broken my own heart twice. Walking away and then trying to come back and yet again walking away. I was crushed in every sense. It still baffles me that after three years you can not entirely know someone. I did not recognize this person speaking in front of me. This is not the same heart I fell in love with. This was a stranger. And the love i poured in this entire time was a waste. I shoved my pride deep inside and walked away for good.
Goodbye my "Almost Future"
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