Good Friday in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

Good Friday starts today with a recap of some yesterday stuff.

I was surprised toward the end of work by Dylan coming down to the office to end my computer access. This was a surprise because after my computer is disconnected from the network? That’s it. There is nothing more that I can do at the firm once that computer is disconnected from that professional network. So… it was like… huh. If this works, I not only won’t need to come in to work on Friday… I won’t be able to. COOL! Let’s do this!

Except it didn’t work out. So we’re going to have to do it all again tomorrow morning. But seriously? I’m a little excited. If I can legit leave work tomorrow before Noon, that would be awesome. I could
1) Go to Noon Good Friday Service
2) Get a bunch of errands done
3) Get some video games played
before leaving to Omaha to continue my “Why am I trying to be a good husband again” Tour.

At about 5:30 p.m. Thursday, I got a phone call from my wife. This phone call almost 100% cast me as unpaid Therapist. She was crying, I was offering her psychological advice while working on my computer. That was the start of my off-work time. I get off the phone with Wife and drive to work. Where she is laying on the couch covered in three blankets and watching Last of the Summer Wine. Kay, whatever. Then about thirty minutes in, she’s sobbing. Not the wracked panic sobbing from last week… she’s having like some kind of 3 year old style tantrum sobbing. Because “her job is boring” so “she hates it” and her therapist “gave her so much work” that she is fairly sure “she’s never going to do.”

Call me a dick but… this was absolute proof (again) that my 37 year old wife is a toddler.

So, I went into Therapist mode again. Because I don’t have the emotional fortitude to keep being The Good Husband there. I can hold her, I can give her professional-style advice. But seriously? I’m exhausted from this. In fact, my leg pain is worse because of the energy I’m putting in. Also I’m doing all of the house stuff as well. In other words… I’m a single parent to a 37 year old toddler. It… yeah, it is exhausting. And I feel like a jerk feeling that way. But seriously? I don’t know.

To me, this is a problem that we’ve had for at least 5 (10) years that she’s always said she was going to work on and never has. To her, this is a life-destroying reality that she had no idea was happening. So… she’s newly and freshly traumatized by her now having to deal with her shit… whereas I am over it and getting over it more. Like… Dylan asked me what I do when I go home now knowing I won’t be working there. And the honesty was.... “I go home and make sure Wife has a blanket and is watching one of her feel good shows. Then I cook dinner and serve it to her. Then I hold her while she is crying and offer psychological advice until she is exhausted and I can barely hold my mind together.” Then (the part I didn’t share) I control and suppress my anger, horniness, and desire to have a life (or at least play video games) and try to go to sleep.

So that was my Thursday night. That and hearing, again, how Wife is already convinced that the entire weekend (literally designed FOR her) is going to be a bust because she’ll be miserable. LE SIGH.

This to be followed up by being kicked out of bed at 1 a.m. for snoring. Again. eye roll. But? It… uh… certainly gave me the opportunity to relieve some more of my pent up sexual frustrations (solo) and that felt incredible! But I did stay up very late (I think I went back to bed in the guest room at 4). Then slept in until 8. So… I suppose… no sleep being traded off for time in my apartment where I am not simply acting as a live in professional cook and/or therapist?

ON TO THE ACTUAL GOOD FRIDAY FRIDAY PORTION?

First, let us start this with a beautiful positive :)
I’m wearing a very ME outfit. Like, seriously. I have a very specific and distinctive look. I don’t wear it much anymore because… well, for obvious reasons, my self-esteem and feelings of being attractive have been absolutely decimated… so I haven’t been wearing my THIS IS ME clothing. I figured today was a good day to wear it, all things considered, and I feel… awesome. I feel great. I’ll have a photo of it up here soon-ish as it is part of my “Before” pictures. It isn’t like… spectacular or sexy by most understandings… but it always makes me feel good, attractive, powerful. It is definitely MY kind of outfit.

So I went to work and the laptop was still going through it’s “wipe” process. Took like two extra hours. Then I finally got it wiped. Re-set up to be a Professional Personal Laptop with No Connections to the Law Firm. I was finishing up work on my final Case Summary when Chinese Boss shows up in my office. (It goes without saying that she and white boss showed up hours after I did today). She asks me to “create a file for White Boss and file an appearance” for him. Like I didn’t just spend yesterday/last night/this morning wiping all of the firm off my laptop for their and my security! SERIOUSLY?! Wow, woman. Really not thinking, are you. You just performed the equivalent of asking a scribe to burn all of their parchment and then, after all the parchment is burnt, asking him to take a letter. You’re… wow. Really? Really?! Glad to be leaving here on a note of “Yeah, you don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

To add to that wonderful notion of their ignorance… Chinese Boss requested that the final e-mail I send to be a complete case summary. I had already prepared one, I was good. Or so I thought. She didn’t want a complete case summary of MY cases. She wanted a complete case summary of ALL criminal cases. You mean… the majority of the work your husband does? In other words… you and your husband have such an issue with communication that even though he, as a non-Chinese speaker, is helping Chinese criminal clients… YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON?! And yes, that is exactly what she asked and why she asked it. Her words were “I want to make sure he doesn’t miss any hearings or court dates.” Glad to know that even as I’m leaving… they don’t see me so much as an “Attorney” but as a Legal Assistant who exists primarily to cover their ass. As opposed to a competent attorney trying to build a legal career. Good reminders as to why I’m leaving.

Oh… and this EMERGENCY CASE that I needed to file an appearance on?
The kid has no prior record. Obviously a Chinese National College student. And the infraction? Unlawfully passing a school bus, first offense. PALM:HEAD.

Seriously? In order to hire us, he needs to pay a retainer of minimum $1,000. The scheduled fine for the offense? $566.25
AND nothing else. So… this kid is paying us over a thousand dollars to avoid a traffic ticket on his record and a fine of $566.25. Frankly? Most attorneys I know would tell the kid that it was most ethical and cost-effective for the client to simply pay the ticket and keep his nose clean. But not this firm. This firm WILL NOT TURN CLIENTS AWAY FOR ANY REASON and when you include “ethical reasons” as reasons? Yeeeeeeaaaaaah. Super duper glad I’m leaving.

HA! Even the State Filing Website is celebrating Good Friday! By which I mean… the site is broken as hell. Under my Sign In Credentials, under Chinese Boss Sign In Credentials, under White Boss Sign In Credentials.... the website opens, it allows us access to the website… but it claims that NO CASES EXIST. That isn’t a good description. It shows us a list of our cases. But when you select the case to get any access or information? Every. Single. Case. takes seven minutes to load and then says “No case information exists on this case. If you believe you have reached this screen in error, please wait a moment and attempt to access again.”

So.... that detailed description of all of White Boss’ cases that Chinese Boss wanted me to write before I left? Just getting that information now may take 7 fucking hours. UGH.

SO… since that whole thing is now fucked up… I’m spending my last day at this firm waiting for the website to miraculously fix itself while listening to Irish Music. At times like this, I think about my wife’s complaints at work and roll my eyes even harder.
The two BIGGEST ISSUES she now has with her new job?
(1) Lonely
(2) Too much downtime.
I asked her what her co-workers do to pass the downtime. They read, they play on their phones, they text, they surf the web. So (and I did say this)… in other words… the only requirement is that it is something that keeps her in the room, doesn’t distract other people, and could be stopped if needed. And she’s getting paid $15 for this. And considers this a REASON TO HATE THE JOB? Fuck, woman! You could write, read, play the DS, play Cell Phone games, catch up with friends and family, play sudoku, do crossword puzzles, fucking break the mathematics secret of time travel. But… no. This is one of the reasons why the job is so horrible that she is crying every night. (Huh?) And it is lonely because the Scientists don’t talk to her, so she’s left stuck with her trainer who isn’t very chatty.

I’d like to film my day today and show it to her as a “Shut it. Are you fucking kidding me?”

I’m in a small room with nothing but my phone and my laptop surrounded by client files.
I’ve been told to do a task that literally cannot be presently accomplished.
Yeah… things not being “ideal” at work is a freaking norm in the world. True, things shouldn’t be toxic (which is why I’m leaving) but this ridiculous expectation Wife has that work should be some… always fun, easy, convenient tasks that she can do without ever being bored? Seriously… she has really weird and fucked up expectations about work.

Which I did actually tell her last night in my “I should seriously be charging for this” role. I let her know that her focus has long been on her job as THE source of satisfaction, happiness, etcetera. Which tells me that she is seriously lacking satisfaction and happiness outside of work and she’s developed unreasonable expectations that work will solve that. Granted, the modern human spends a lot of their time at work… but if your job is THE source of happiness or joy or satisfaction in your life? You’re going to be constantly miserable, unsatisfied, and depressed.

And, though I didn’t say it, at that moment I realized why (most of all) Wife felt weird around BOSSes and BROTHER. My bosses have that sickness where they look to their job for all the happiness and joy and satisfaction in their lives… but they’ve selected for a job that can be demanding and rewarding and take up all of your time. Whereas Wife didn’t. She didn’t push herself to take a job that would eat all of her time. So while it was easy for her to say, “The problem with your bosses is that they have nothing else in their lives.” the irony was that (and this was known) SHE had nothing else in her life, but did have the opportunity. Which begs the question… who is the more hopeless… people who build a life intentionally to keep from doing anything other than work.... or someone who simply refuses to seize opportunities to do anything other than work? Then we refocus the lens to Brother and things make a LOT more sense. Brother is doing what he wants to do for a career. He is using his art, running a business, working in science… he is, as Wife would say, respectable doing a job he can be proud of. YET he also has LOTS of out of work hobbies. Aside from having a child, he swims and climbs and shoots and is active in his community… he has a job that she wouldn’t mind making into her entire life but he has also seized the opportunities presented to him to have MORE than work in his life.

End of the conversation last night was Wife admitting that she does need to find out how to be a healthy, happy, stable human inside of herself and not just keep looking to conditional external changes to solve things. I hope she means it. Because to me? I hear that, and I am reminded of all the other times where she has sobbingly said, “I know this is something I need to work on” and then she refused to work on it. So… grain of salt with her statement, but I’m hoping she understands how serious it is this time. Because she’s facing The Crossroads. She can work on herself and maybe find a happier, healthier life where she can find a job she enjoys and stay married… or she can choose to not deal and stay a miserable, infantile woman who never finds happiness.

Additional eye roll.
White Boss leaves for the day.
I have finished all of my work.
It is time to let me go.

But not to Chinese Boss. She informs me as White Boss is leaving that she has just taken a Civil Case, but the case may be past time to take to court, so she’s thinking about not taking the case… and could I do some research on this topic? SHUDDER.

If I were a person more willing to be an asshole and more willing to be forceful with people, I would have said no and walked away. But after everything else, I am determined to leave this place on good terms. So I’ll do the research project (begrudgingly).

Then she asks me to draft some more criminal files and get them to her as soon as I can. NOW… I know that this is still a work day and I’m not complaining that my boss is asking me to work. But considering she ordered the removal of my laptop yesterday (as opposed to this morning), she should know that my Drafting/Filing is pretty seriously fucked up. But… as has been evidenced time and again at this firm… she is the demanding one, not the smart one.

So… after spending HOURS making sure that all of the Firm and Client stuff was off of my laptop… you have now asked me to create Firm and Client stuff on my laptop and do research for Firm and Client stuff on my laptop. You’re so dumb. And this whole problem wouldn’t even exist if you had been a professional and provided a Firm Computer instead of asking your associate to buy his OWN laptop for work.

Here’s a fun little “seriously?” I mean, I know lawyers are required to take cases of all different kinds but… considering the majority of the cases we DO take, this case I have to say… “seriously?” This civil case that Chinese Boss wanted me to tackle and research?

College Aged Chinese Student driving without insurance (a crime) strikes a woman’s car (liability issues) and the woman is suing for $3,000 restitution for damages. Chinese Boss’ willingness to take every Chinese case is ridiculous. You know how much my accident was? Over $7,000. Wife’s accident? SAME! So any accident where you hit someone and don’t have insurance and they are only asking $3,000? Maybe you settle out of court. That’s just me speaking. But maybe that’s the smart fucking thing to do here. Especially since the rules of Civil Procedure give the individual 20 days with which to file a response to the Original Notice. He was served on the first of the month. I was given this request on the 30th of the month. My math may be sketchy, but that seems pretty obvious. But like a good attorney, I checked for loopholes and exceptions. Couldn’t find any. They probably exist but I’m not going to spend hours on this research project as this firm has shown me no reason to. When I would spend hours researching? I was told not to waste time. When I didn’t spend hours researching? I would be yelled at for not taking the case seriously and not doing enough research. I have a STRONG feeling that if today wasn’t my last day… I’d be told that I had to find a loophole for this kid and, when one couldn’t be found, they would tell the client that we missed the deadline because their idiot associate attorney didn’t do his job.


With that… I shall ascend the staircase and tell Chinese Boss I’m ready to leave.

I don’t know what her “transition” requirements will be and I am a bit worried. But fingers crossed. Tonight in Omaha… and for fuck sake it better not be Professional Counselor Husband Man to the rescue again… Ready Player One and Retro Gaming tomorrow… and Easter on Sunday. Hope everyone has a good weekend!