Saturday Morning in meh...

So I’m trying to figure out if I can do without my phone for a week. The short answer is yes I can. The other answer is should I?

So I sat down and went over my costs for this pay period. I will have a lot of week between now and my next check. Usually it doesn’t matter but I am very low on funds. It’s not a rent check (thank goodness) so I’ve been calculating. On top of this, I had to wire transfer money into my credit union account because apparently, I’d been in the hole and didn’t know it. When I tried to check the account online, I forgot all that information and can’t reset the password. I was going to download the app but one too many reviews called it crap.

Had to pay my credit card out of my regular account. I have 75 and 78 dollars set aside for my phone bill and bus pass respectively and that left me with maybe 40 dollars for groceries. I SPENT 20 of that for dinner supplies for last night. I also paid my electric bill and paid on my gas bill, which is utterly ridiculous.

I’m missing the annual Oyster and Stout festival at a local brewery. I’m missing a lot of stuff. But, it is also raining and storming and kind of chilly.

Should probably check the basement to make sure it’s not super flooded like last time.

I thought about me saying I didn’t have plans with my tax money should I have gotten anything significant back. I need a bed frames and new mattress. I was going to purchase a new washer and dryer set. Practical things I need. Probably splurge on a few meals I’ve been wanting to have. Now, the little money I have is going to go toward bailing me out with the feds.

Too much thinking for Saturday morning. I’ve been awake since about 4 something. Like always.

I had a mini meltdown in frustration saying “this can’t be life, yet here I am.” I went on to say I was tired of being poor and barely scraping by. I know I’m mean sometimes, I know I’m mot a perfect person, but for the most part I’m good, I’m kind, and I just want to know what my lesson is. What can I do to make this thing better for me and mine? I don’t want to leave behind a legacy of struggle. My son turns to me and says, “life is a game, rigged, from the start, that we weren’t meant to win.” That was profound and I was still upset because why are some winning and why do I constantly lose?

Then so decided to just sleep. Because that’s not as stressful as trying to figure out life.

So at any rate, nothing happening today.

And I still need to figure out if I can sacrifice my phone and live with it until next pay period.

Have fun what ever you choose to do…

Kindest regards,
Sister

Last updated March 24, 2018