TL

I still get jealous in Current Events

  • March 14, 2018, 7:36 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I woke up feeling pretty bummed out. My mind is comparing myself to the success of others and it is making me jealous. There is a young woman in my city I follow on Instagram, she bought a beautiful loft that she turned into a studio for her photography. She gets to work with the people that she loves most and she used to inspire me until my mind decided that I hate her for having mommy and daddy money to get her that head start. There is a guy I also follow on Instagram who takes photos of my city and he is pretty successful with that. He just left for Europe for a eurotrip. He is doing everything I ever wanted right now. I was happy for him until my mind hated him for having “straight, white male privilege”. Honestly I don’t know these kids and I am happy for their success and I have been so good at not letting my depression win and make me feel so small in comparison to others. My mother worked her ass off so I can have the start that I do have in my life that I am wasting. I think I am just feeling that I have lost some of the momentum that I started at the beginning of the year.
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My next entry I will write down everything I want in my life in the next couple years. I haven’t thrown it out into universe yet. Maybe it is time I do so.


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