As Expected in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

First full day in the new office.

White Boss’ truck is here when I arrive. I get into the building, set everything up and… yeah. Still haven’t seen a single person. Not White Boss, not Chinese Boss, not even any workers. Because my office is that “out of the way” from the main action in the building. Another way of telling I am “out of the way” of the main action of the building? I’m totally fucking freezing. This is me. I prefer cold. It is why I am a conundrum. My body pain wants it to be warm and balmy all the time; my ability to sweat abundantly at even a slight rise in temperature wants it to be cold all the time. So… cold doesn’t usually bother me. But… peep this: I am in a full suit (long sleeved shirt, long pants, suit jacket) and my typical winter walking coat (long, traditional black long coat often seen on lawyers from New York to Minnesota). And in my office… I am still freezing. Like… laptop struggling to work, hands made of ice freezing. As it is currently 23 degrees F (-5 C) one would expect a room with no heat to be cold… but the “room with no heat” is the part of that sentence that should be considered.

Another reason why I don’t want to do Criminal Defense work anymore? Discussing a case with White Boss. Client was putting a store’s items into her purse with the intent to steal. She left the store, leaving that purse behind. The police pulled her car over after the store called the police about the attempted shoplifting. The police pull the car over and, inside the car, is a shit ton of Meth and Meth Paraphernalia. Now… the questionable item here is “Did a theft occur?” Items were placed into the purse, but the purse was left behind. My instinct as a prosecutor would be to throw out all shoplifting charges and ask the Defendant (who has repeatedly been arrested for theft and drugs in the past) to plead to the drugs. Conviction tied to the strongest evidence. White Boss says, “She didn’t steal anything. In fact, she gave them a purse. I bet I could get the whole thing thrown out.” ::eye roll:: Honestly, even if he can get the whole thing thrown out.... that isn’t who I am. The police were called to investigate a theft. The police pull over the vehicle involved in that theft. That is a legal stop. If the theft did not reach completion, don’t convict on theft. If the drugs were in the car, convict on drugs. White Boss’ theory is that the police should have known the theft did not reach completion due to the fact that the purse the items were being put into was found inside the store. I call b.s. If someone is putting stuff into their purse, that doesn’t mean stuff wasn’t being put into their pockets. A follow up investigation, including a traffic stop, is reasonable. But… welcome to Defense. You do whatever you can to get your clients off the hook, apparently.

I’ve been at work for about 2 hours now. I’ll admit that the cold makes it seem like considerably longer. The only people I’ve seen? About 8:45 a worker came in to apologize that the heating in my area wasn’t working. Promised to have it fixed by the end of the week. About 9:00, White Boss came down to ask me about his case that he was going to trial on. About 9:05, Dylan stopped down to say hi and let me know he was here. 9:45 a Delivery Driver came ‘round to ask where he should deliver a printer because 2211 wasn’t open. I explained that we (for some reason) only discovered yesterday that we are 2213. That’s the people I’ve seen. So… that is all of the people I’ve seen this morning. Feel like Tiny Town yet?

Finally, around 10 or so, Chinese Boss shows up… or so I am led to believe. Unlike White Boss, Dylan, and I… Chinese Boss didn’t park in the back of the building in Employee Parking… she parked in the front of the building in Customer Parking. Because why should she have to park on a different level than where her office is? Again though, I’m only guessing. I’m guessing because suddenly the upstairs is filled with loud speaking of a female voice in Chinese. So, I’d call it an educated guess.

I’ve spent most of my morning withdrawing from cases. The process isn’t long, per se, but takes time. Draft Motion, Transfer Motion to specific file format, Draft Order, log in to specific case, upload Motion and Order, inform system of what was uploaded, file. Repeat per case. This isn’t work I’m getting paid for. This isn’t work the firm is getting paid for. So I expect if Chinese Boss knew this was how I was spending my morning, she’d be somewhat unhappy. But here’s the kicker… this is work that needs to get done. I have been at this Withdraw Bit for a few weeks now and I’ve managed to whittle my case load to 70 Cases. So I need to withdraw from 70 cases in the next three weeks. If I’m averaging between five and sixteen per week… I’m still not going to be done in time.

I am almost 100% certain that Chinese Boss will say no, but if the office remains as cold as it is today? I will ask White Boss if I can work from Ames. It may not be as shiny and new… but for fuck suck… the temperature in my office necessitates the wearing of gloves. Which interferes with typing. So I don’t wear gloves. But I can assure you my hands/fingers are saying “Dude, put on some freaking gloves!”

Oh, I was happy that… after I explained the new office layout to Wife… even she said “Thank God you’re getting out of there soon. I mean don’t get me wrong… I’ll definitely miss the extra income, small though it was. But I’m excited for you to be out of there.”

Based on a Political Post today:
Did Melania deserve an Einstein Visa?
The article was trying to (in very uneducated and divisive tones) explain (poorly) the fact that Melania came into the United States in 2001 on an EB-1 Visa. The proper term for this visa is “the extraordinary ability visa” but (to prove their unresearched point) the article kept calling it an “Einstein Visa.” Not like this is really going to change hearts and minds but in my limited capacity here… I wanted to help clear this up.

I have worked on several EB1 Visas. I am currently working on one. The article saying “Einstein Visa” uses that term to make it sound like only exceptionally intelligent people should receive these visas. That is not at all how the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services sees it. According to USCIS, in order to qualify for an EB1 Visa, the petitioner must qualify for 3 out of 10 requirements. Those 10 requirements are as follows:
(1) Evidence of receipt of lesser nationally or internationally recognized prizes or awards for excellence (In other words, have you received awards for excellence in your industry?)
(2) Evidence of your membership in associations in the field which demand outstanding achievement of their members (In other words, are you involved in any group whose very membership denotes excellence in your field?)
(3) Evidence of published material about you in professional or major trade publications or other major media (In other words, are you so good at what you do that people have written about it?)
(4) Evidence that you have been asked to judge the work of others, either individually or on a panel (In other words, are you so recognized by your industry that your opinion holds professional weight?)
(5) Evidence of your original scientific, scholarly, artistic, athletic, or business-related contributions of major significance to the field (In other words, have you done anything innovative and impressive to elevate your entire industry?)
(6) Evidence of your authorship of scholarly articles in professional or major trade publications or other major media (In other words, have you written anything that was published that could demonstrate your excellence in your industry?)
(7) Evidence that your work has been displayed at artistic exhibitions or showcases (In other words, has your work been seen by others professionally?)
(8) Evidence of your performance of a leading or critical role in distinguished organizations (In other words, are you involved in leadership in any organizations that denote excellence?)
(9) Evidence that you command a high salary or other significantly high remuneration in relation to others in the field (In other words, are you so good at what you do or so well known that you can charge people more simply because it is you?)
(10) Evidence of your commercial successes in the performing arts (In other words, if you are in the performing arts… are you more than just critically acclaimed? Does your shit actually make money?)

Now remember… a petitioner only needs to satisfy three of those ten. And it isn’t “Comparing Models to Astrophysicists” it is all within the industry of the individual. So while people are shouting “Melania shouldn’t have gotten an Einstein visa for simply taking off her clothes and looking good” that isn’t the law. Literally… if she takes off her clothes and looks good… and does it better than most and can prove that via the application process briefly mentioned above? Then she is legally entirely deserving of an EB-1 “Extraordinary Person Visa”.

If this upsets you… count it as proof that Immigration needs common sense reform. Instead of listening to people who want to ban entire regions or religions; lets discuss which Employment elements we want for Employment Based Immigration. Models? Actors? Financiers? Doctors? Day Laborers?

I won’t speak much to this but… back in the world of politics… have you guys seen this thing about Betsy Devos’ trip to Florida? The woman who has proven herself hostile to public education and said Teachers should be armed (during her confirmation hearing!) decided a “publicity tour of a massacre site” would be a great idea. Despite saying that she took a tour with Student Press and answered questions, the Parkland Student Press said that she refused to answer any of their questions “and would not see (them).” And if you think “Who is more likely to lie… a government official or teenagers?” Then the proof is in further action. When Devos took to the podium and was asked questions about policy, she cut her appearance short and left. So… no conversations… no discussions… no answering of questions… you just wanted to visit a public school still reeling with grief, make a speech, look important, and leave. I said this during her confirmation hearing (and I try to avoid this type of hyperbole as a lawyer and as someone with a religion background) but… honestly, Devos strikes me as soulless. As someone who long ago realized they could either have a soul or money… and didn’t bat an eye when throwing their soul away.

And now for some good news… Wife got offered the job she interviewed for yesterday. Right now she is thrilled (at least on the Group Text to the family) and I am wondering what she’ll be like when I see her this evening. Thrilled, terrified, both? I’m proud of her and glad for her. The job isn’t a pay decrease (as she was worried about) and might give better insurance. Now, they don’t offer PTO or Vacation Time (which is apparently standard in these contracts per my SIL who worked in this industry for a decade) but… still. I worked a job for (technically) less than $15 an hour with no PTO, Vacation, OR Insurance… so… glad she got what she got.

Plus… in a weird, hopefully not too condescending way… this is another good reason for me to have the next few months away from work. Because my transition into a new place of employment? No problem. I might grow to hate things, but the transition is good because I am not afraid of change once the decision has been made. Wife… may have some tough spots. She hasn’t had to do this… for years. And, per her, before we ever met she did try to do a different job at a Christian Photos place… and the transition was so much she quit after one day. So… being there to support my wife? Super important. And if I was working at this job while that was going on? I’d be miserable, short-tempered, out of compassion… I would not be a good husband and likely would make the situation worse. So… it is good timing.

That being said… the little voice in the back of my head that spends too much time on “What If” and the like broke through some of my defenses today. And like a raging Kaiju, if it gets through a little, it wreaks as much havoc as it can before being forced back onto Monster Island.

This time it started relatively small, but as so often happens… it started on Social Media.
As I was waiting for my frozen computer to download a large file for White Boss (whose computer has not yet arrived) I started cruising Facebook. I came upon several photo posts from Tiffany 2. Seeing anything Tiffany 2 posts is an experience that causes reflection and emotional response for a number of reasons. This time, my first impulse was of contemplation. When we started dating, that is about the time when Tiffany 2 first began to realize and embrace her destiny. I was a complete square at the time, so I couldn’t go along with her on her Destiny (even if she had wanted me to). Because when she turned 16, she went to Mexico for a week. Hit all the clubs and bars with her brothers (brothers of whom I had never heard mention). When she came back, she was entirely different. Gone was the modestly dressed but attractive super intelligent Half-Japanese viola player. Out came the club loving Spanish-fluent viola player who wanted to grab life by the balls and squeeze. And now… 18 years later… she has proven that knowing yourself, embracing it, and running with it are keys to success. She’s gone everywhere in the world, an extremely successful Bar promoter out of Colombia, still playing the Viola at a high level, earning money… I mean this woman’s life is filled with travel, money, business ownership, success… she’s being written up in magazines and newspapers… in a traditional sense of the word, she totally made it! And… she held on to the parts of herself that she liked before her big change. Still loves riding horses and playing viola. It is like she was able to become a whole person combining her adult destiny with the things about her youth that she loved.

Whenever I think about her I think about several things. I think about how wrong I was to see her change into “Wild Girl” as instantly bad. She clearly was simply embracing something within herself and has found success from it. I think about how lucky she was to know herself so young. I think about how smart she was to find something professionally that spoke to her so well. And I think about how long it took me to really find myself and embrace who I was.

Because ultimately, it took me until I was 27 to figure it out. And (here’s the painful truth) I know exactly why it took that long. Because until I was 27, I was single. And I thought that the most important thing was to be married by the time you were 30. Hell, the closest people in my life all met their spouses in High School… I felt a lot of pressure. I got married when I was 27. Which, I believe, freed me up to discover who I actually was. Law School helped a great deal (also started when I was 27). But that little bit with Law School also produces regret and negative reflection. Because I married my Wife and then went to Law School. Things between my Wife and I have never been all together perfect but they were acceptable. Well… not in law school, though. In Law School, we were living together and all of our problems were made more evident… not to mention that was the start of the 3 years of celibacy. Sooooo… yeah. And in Law School I met many very lovely, intelligent women. But I could always rest easy knowing that even if I went for them, they’d never go for me. And it wasn’t a big deal anyway as I was married. But, as I have written in here before, there were many that I particularly fancied. One was an officer in my Legal Honors Fraternity. She was very attractive, very honest, and had been married before. She owned a house, knew what she wanted to do with her life, and had a dog. I appreciated her company. Today she shared something on her facebook (and responded to something on my facebook) that actually makes me think.... she and I would have been a better Nerd couple than my Wife and I are. Because my Wife “tolerates” Comic Book stuff… “allows” Anime stuff… “accepts” DnD stuff… and loves Sci-Fi Star Trek/Star Wars stuff. But the Officer today was discussing the other bits. In other words, making me think she and I shared more Nerd Interests than my Wife and I do. Made me wonder if she and I would have been a thing in law school (and if we would have worked out) if I hadn’t been married.

Though… as soon as I think that… I am reminded of the many other women I met in law school that could have potentially been a better match due to their appearance/personality/nerdy interest combinations.

So of course thinking about that makes me think of past relationships that didn’t work out because either (1) I was an idiot, (2) the relationship should NEVER have been entered into, or (3) the other partner was an idiot.

I get it. My mind spends too much time in the past. But I was always going to be this kid. I was the guy that read the Choose Your Own Adventure Books with bookmarks noting the last major Choice Affecting the Plot. So I could retrace my steps and see how the other option would have worked. Because that is the kind of guy I am. I want to know how the other option(s) would have worked!