HOLY FUCK. in Since OD is shutting down....

Yeah so about 6 weeks ago I had connected with his Mother and she had taken my daughter 3 times in one week. Well she had her on a Saturday but then decided if I wasn’t going to let him take her overnight that I needed to come get her. Well, I have to pay whether she’s at daycare or not and then he was there when I went to pick her up. I was super pissed because I didn’t feel that his Mother respected my wishes enough to make sure I wasn’t around him, as I had already told her how I felt. I had taken my daughter’s extra pack n play, bouncy chair, and the $30 chair I had gotten for her over Christmas and all I wanted back was that chair. Well, it turned into his Mother contacting my friend over Facebook, threatening her and calling names and them not willing to let me have it.

He has since switched jobs and I haven’t gotten any CS in almost 3 weeks now. I have spent over $200 in the past couple of weeks on boxes of diapers, clothes, wipes, and formula with no help from him whatsoever. He was around over Valentines and gave her a couple of little gifts but didn’t help with stuff she actually needs.

I am completely done with this situation. It’s been 8 months of trying to co-parent with a narc and I seriously can’t try anymore. I’ve decided that none of them are going to see her again unless there is a court order. All him and his family have done is call me names, threaten me, and make this situation an absolute nightmare and I refuse to allow it bring me down anymore or allow my child to be affected by it. His Mother is just as crazy as he is and I’m upset because I even bought her a cell phone because she didn’t have one and I didn’t want my daughter at her house and not be able to be in contact with her. She’s done nothing but call me names and tell my friend that SHE should pay CS! Uh no, we’ve established that it was in fact her son that helped created my child and that’s his responsibility.

I’ve just been busy working and raising my child by myself. I haven’t heard from my parents in about 2 months after my Mom came over and mooched off me and stole my bottle of my diabetic medication. My brother recently contacted me via Facebook and asked me to come to my niece’s birthday party which we had last night and it was a lot of fun.

Tonight I’ve just taken care of little one and cleaned up my house. I was getting so frustrated earlier today because I wanted her to nap because I was just exhausted and she finally did so I was able to nap for a couple of hours. She definitely doesn’t nap as much as she used to so it’s harder to get sleep in the day time. I still don’t have any kind of support here at all. I’ve had a friend that’s offered to take her a couple of times but then always backs out last minute so that’s why I don’t even attempt to ask anyone to watch her outside of daycare. I had a dentist appointment early Tuesday morning so I took her early and then after my appointment I was able to come home and sleep for awhile and it was super nice. I really don’t get a break unless I have a dr appointment or it’s Saturday night because she stays at daycare late so I’m able to get off work, get groceries, come home and put them away, have a minute to myself and then I go get her.

Being a single Mom is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done but it’s also the most rewarding. I love watching my daughter grow and learn new things all the time. She’s definitely becoming her own person with her own little personality. I like that she’s able to pick up toys and play with them and loves being in her jumper. It just makes me sad that no one that has a genetic bond with her is around though. I do like that I get to have her all to myself because I’m able to dress her how I want and even got her ears pierced a few weeks ago.

I’ve had a couple of bills come about so I had to pay off one judgement that was $750 and I’m now making payments on another one. I had a lot of medical bills from several years ago and I’m now doing what I can to get everything paid. I got my income tax and I’ve already spent about $1,500 just on bills. I just want my money to last as long as possible because I want to have a nice birthday party for her this Summer and just be able to have that extra cushion in the bank. My car decided that the heat was going to break so I’ve had to spend about $300 fixing that. I had a couple of nights last week where I went without heat and literally was freezing to death. I usually have a friend get me back and forth to the shop to drop it off and pick it up but this last time I had to call a taxi because no one was available.

It’s difficult being all alone here and having no one to turn to. No one still knows my situation other than my old roommate that I hang out with and my family. I have still kept it lowkey because I want my drama to stay my drama. These are my problems and because I feel that it’s nobody else’s fucking business. Nobody cares anyway until they want to gossip behind your back.

I guess we are supposed to have a big storm rolling in tonight and 70mph winds tomorrow so I don’t plan to go anywhere and we have everything we need so we don’t have to. We had a big blizzard a couple of weeks ago and I’m just glad the storm hit on my days off so I didn’t have to go out in in and take my child out.

More later.