The Big Picture in Riverdale

We often…(I often…get caught up  in small details…the past the future  the bad  small things  in life)



That we dont look at the bigger picture in life. Who we are. Isnt our mistakes. Just being able to step back.



Wow. Ok I survived that. I overcame that. That hurt soooo much . I never thought id get  over or through that. Sure for me some things still hurt me. But the reason is that I havent found something  that replaces that…yet....



So theres always hope. For me right now I feel at a stand still with my life.



But I would like to say there are some things in my life that are working for me.



For example I was having  some major trouble with my neighbour for quite  awhile. But lately the past 2 months or so she has quieted  down  and I hardly see her. That is a win. Its contributed  to me feeling more peaceful  in my space. Hopefully it only gets better or stays this way. But that change has helped alot.



Even loosing people in my life has been a blessing.  I didnt realize  how much I had outgrown some people  and how much they were dragging me down. It hurts i miss them in alot of ways. But ive changed. My needs changed and my self worth has increased. My bullshit tolerance  has gotten lower.



Ive made changes ans decisions  daily that little by little increase  my likihood to suceed be more at peace  happy and healthy. Im not finished  yet. But i am getting there with this one. It was sooo easy and nautral in some ways…but really hard in the fact that i dont crave as much these vices and behaviours but i feel a bit naked and empty without them a bit. Like what now? I dont want  them back but i am at this transition period that can feel kind of uncomfortable and foreign to me.



Anyways. Yeah. I ought to step back more and look how far  ive come and see the big picture. Will this matter like 10 years  from  now? What about  even 6 months? We all die one way or day. Life can go fast and can be short.



 When youve escaped death a few times at an early age you realize how precious life can be and how fast it can be taken away.