Fake Interview in Parenting

I’ve been at my job for 10 years. I don’t talk much about it because it’s boring, and it’s just like every other office with stupid office politics. I work for a specialty Children’s Hospital, the business office. I post the payments and denials from the EOBs. I used to be a reimbursement rep but once my old supervisor left, they set me up for failure, wrote me up and moved me to posting. Which was fine. It was overtime a lot, and it was easier and my new boss was super nice. We’ve gotten close, she’s younger, and we have a lot in common. She sticks up for me, has came to my parties, is really sweet. Well now SHES moving to another position. I personally think she got bullied into another position because Terri, HER supervisor and my manager, wants someone more confrontational, more mean and uptight because that’s how Terri is. Terri is also the one who has talked to me about being on the internet….even though I’m the fastest poster, get my work done, not up talk and walking around. Well apparently I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

I applied for the supervisor position. I don’t like working, I hate it but I’m always looking to advance and better myself if given the opportunity. If I’m going to be stuck here, I might has well be doing something and make more money and be the best. So I thought I was getting the typical interview yesterday. Nope, it was just a meeting with Terri, just to tell me how she can’t see me in this position. How I’m too shy, quiet, need to open up more and work on my people skills. I don’t get it. They reprimand you for being too social, but then if you’re not social enough, they use that as an excuse to keep you where you are. I come in do my work, don’t socialize because I’m not here to make friends. She talked about how she cant see me in this supervisor position and we have strong personalities on my team and they can take advantage of you. She was pretty much telling me I can’t do it. But I haven’t even been given a chance. I’m a mom now! I supervise ALL DAY long! Shoo, a wife too! She said she was shocked when I brought my resume to her because she also didn’t know I wanted to be a supervisor. Yea, everyone here wants to move up, we just don’t get many opportunities! I started to get nervous because she’s very intimidating and she likes to see my crumble because she’s like what do you think being a supervisor does. And it’s like I froze up and started stuttering. She wants me to be afraid of her. Later on, she started talking about how she’s a people person, gets her energy from people, likes to help people. That’s funny because NO ONE HERE even likes her!! She’s a snake! A sneaky old bitch! She’s like you’ll have to talk to people. A lot of people and you’ll have to deal with me a lot. “A lot a lot”. She said it almost in a way like “you don’t want to deal with me”. Well how else are we going to establish that fake relationship you keep claiming that I need. Whatever bitch! She says I don’t even say anything when I pass or go in the break room. Yea neither do YOU! Neither do a hundred other people! There’s this one guy here, who has only been here a few years. He passes me in the hall and looks straight ahead. He walks in the break room and doesn’t say anything to anyone. I went to a mutual friends party and he sat in the corner and didn’t say anything to anyone. Meanwhile, I walk around, talk, dance, etc. But he can move around in the company because mommy is a manager!! It’s not about what you know, but who you know. I’m not buddy buddy enough for anyone. Terri was alike no one knows anything about you, you have to establish relationships, blab la. I’m not sure how that effects my job. She says she never sees me talking to anyone on my team. ?! Just because you don’t see it. I mean yea I don’t talk a lot and most days I don’t say anything but I do talk to them. If I have something to say! Geezus! I’ve been this way since I was little. I’m just not a big talker! The more I think about the stupid interview the more it pisses me off. Like they want me to change to accommodate them. I’ve been this way for almost 30 years. I’m not going to change any time soon. What do they want from me! I feel like I can’t do anything right when I try to do the best I can. I feel like I’m rambling now. I was ranting to Hubby about it and he was upset at them too. He knows my potential and he knows me better than anyone. He hopes to be able to let me stay home one day. One day.