31st birthday, cant afford bills, need to be thin in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

Tomorrow is my birthday i dont want to celebrate. I just want sleep till the day is over. I never thought i would live to see 31. I thought either my father or ex fiance Alan would have killed me by now. I didn’t have babies or bought property because i thought i wouldnt have never lived long enough to need it. I am at a lost. I dont know how my life is supposed to go. I never planned this far. I am at a lost. I thought i would have died because of domestic violence. What do i do now?

I am not as attractive as i used to be. I am heavier. I been on a diet but my fine wrinkles are starting to pop up i am often mistaken for 40-60 year old. I look at people who are teenagers i want to tell them sorry but this probably best you are going to look like.

I bought a small birthday cake, ice cream and pizza. I hate myself. I am ruining my low carb diet for my birthday. My mom yesterday took me out for my birthday we had pizza. demanded to know how much l have lost on my low carb diet. Her comments almost drove me to an eating disorder. I am never going to be her ideal image.she tried to force me on the scales. I manage to change topic and get away.

I am worried about money i am not sure if we are going to afford power bill and rent this teacher strike has took 3 days of pay away from me. I hope they resolve soon. Can i get unemployment if i cant work as a guard in the school for pay due to strike? I hate being home unpaid like this. Damn work stoppage. How can i pay my bills?

I got a free ticket to womans expo first day i took my mom. Today i went by myself while Talan slept. I met Cody Wickline, Landau Murphy Junior and Jeremy Ambler from Walking Dead. I got pictures with them but wasnt star strucked. Talan got jealous of Cody Wickline. He didn’t realize the guy is musician. Talan thought Cody was a good looking guy who was going to snatch me away. Cody isnt my type he is to much like perfection. I preferred flawed men because i relate better.

I watched Zoo of Trees performed at Womans Expo i recorded one song before my phone went dead. I left to charge my phone took my bags of freebies like ink pens, hand sanitizer, chap stick and went home. I lost interest.

I took a bouncy bag out of my bag. Watch cats chase it while i played with tablet mom got for my birthday.

How do people on social media lie how great their lives are? I cant keep up with the Kardashian or afford plastic surgery. I cant afford my basic bills. How do they fake fabulous vacations? I am to tired to lie or deal with vanity. I am to real and unhappy to fake life.