Listening Through Doorways in Things That I'm Grateful For

I’m watching Love Or Whatever, and Jennifer Elise Cox is sooooo fucking hysterical. She portrayed Jan Brady in the 90s Brady Bunch movies (which are quite possible two of the funniest films ever made) and in this movie, she’s the main character’s lesbian sister and she’s screaming about “licking vagina” and I can’t stop laughing.

The other day, I ran into my mother talking to my neighbor. My neighbor always tries to make some ridiculous joke, usually about how long my hair is and how feminine it is for a man to have long hair… how original. But this time, my mother segued into talking about my PKU, so I went into the other room because I was tired of hearing this kind of thing.

However, she quickly pivoted and started talking about how outgoing I was as a child and how I would talk to anyone and how people always said it was remarkable that a four-year-old boy could hold an adult conversation that didn’t revolve around childish subjects. I was precocious, but that’s not the part that surprised me.

My mother then said that as I’ve become an adult, I’ve become more withdrawn, taciturn and unwilling to talk to other people.

The reason I was so enrapture by this is because I recently lectured my mother on how much I’ve changed since I was a child. She seemed to hold on to behaviors that defined me in 1989 as if they’re still applicable to me today. Chances are that things I did in 1989 had no relevance to my life in 1998, 2007 or even today in 2018.

I was just amazed that our little talk had registered with her and that she had already integrated it into her programmed speeches about me. I’ve heard that speech an innumerable amount but this was the first time that it seemed to reflect a reality that seems like more than wishful thinking.

I guess that’s a good thing. If even my mother can adapt, maybe there’s hope for us yet.