the service. and um. *talk of d**th in 2017. got it.

this is from Thurs. again:

‘so the service hasn’t happened yet. for my grandfather. it’s going to be the 25th Sun. i’m not sure what time. um the last time i saw him was xmas eve. it was i don’t know. the last time i saw him it was ok. and that’s a reason [but not the reason er i mean. rather. not the main not. the real one] i didn’t see him again. i don’t talk a lot about him or what his situation was or anything. not sure when i will...... well there’s no hurry i don’t think.

i don’t miss him, exactly it’s just odd. weird. odd. idinno there’s this. it’s empty. i don’t want to analyse what ‘it’ is/was right now. i um on. on............sat. i in my head said good bye to him. i don’t want to detail i just. yeah. i didn’t know. that on Sun. the following day he was going to, you know, go. he’s, [and this was decided even before........] letting my mom/her siblings plan the service which, i certainly didn’t expect.

my mom. of both my parents has ‘always’ been the one who’s organised. knows the schedules my sister & i had while growing up. knows ‘ok this is the time this event happens’ or ‘this person will be here at this time’. my dad isn’t really that way. over the past few yrs. i’ve come to be that way.

my mom has 3 siblings a sister and 2 brothers.

oh i got at my ex NE guy and emailed him and told him. his response? ‘i’m sorry for your loss’. my response? ‘thank you’. ‘