A look in Come Down

I don’t know if it was a good thing… something I’d prefer, thought. Like thinking I’m pretty, or he’s grateful to be spending time with me…

Or one of the “I’m in my head and see nothing so I don’t see you (your face)”
Maybe he didn’t like to look on my face as I stared.

A lie,
A regret
?

Then he caught me staring. And its like he was trying to hide that he was stuck in his thoughts

Or simply nothing…

These types of situations, piss me off because I’m that “insecure, too self conscious” high. It makes me feel dumb…

And hallucinate.

Anyway. I’ll just do more doses til I pass out…
So he can have the rest of the night, midnight, morning to himself so he can do whatever he needs to do…

I wish I could just fall asleep with no worries, when I’m ready to just stop all of the thoughts.

I wouldn’t have to see how “focused” he is on something that would take a few seconds but he’s been messing with it for at least an hour now, just so I don’t get to tweeze him. Yeah.

Stuff like that makes me wonder why he even brings certain things up or do certain things… or pretend…

Last updated February 11, 2018