A message from beyond? in The View from the Terrace

A very odd thing happened to me last night. Hubby and I are spending 3 days in Wolverhampton. This is for me to pursue some family history research and also for a visit to the Grand Theatre to see Mamma Mia.

One of the things I am have been trying to find for some years is where my maternal grandparents are buried. I remember Mum saying that her Mum was buried in Wolverhampton. It came up one day when I asked her what she wanted to happen after she passed away. Did she want to be cremated and her ashes scattered with my Dad’s in Brighton. She said she hadn’t really thought about it. Then she said maybe she would like to be buried with her mother in Wolverhampton. Then she wasn’t sure because she might want to be with my dad. She said she would think about it but we never did discuss it again.

Dad is in Brighton because my parents retired to Sussex. That was mainly Mum’s dream. She had always wanted to live by the sea and she loved Sussex. I don’t think Dad was that bothered but he did like the seaside too. I guess I was the only one who didn’t want to go, but that is another story.

Dad died less than a year after the move, but Mum stayed there for 16 years. She made new friends and a new life for herself. Eventually, after Hubby and I moved to Herefordshire she joined us there because she was getting older and needed family nearby. When she died I wanted her to be with my Dad. It felt wrong to leave him down there all alone, especially as it had been her idea to move there. I arranged for her ashes to be scattered where his had been. Later though I have felt uneasy. Did I deny her last wish. She never really gave me a definite answer. Then I realised that I didn’t know where her Mum was buried.

In recent years I’ve thought it might be good to find out where her parents were buried. I still feel a little uneasy and though maybe I could take something of mum’s to leave at the grave. That was one of the things I was planning to do on this visit.

Both Mum and Dad grew up in Wolverhampton. They met at a tennis club and later got engaged. Then the firm where Dad and his dad worked went down in the 1930s recession and Granddad had the opportunity of the pub in Shrewsbury. Mum didn’t want to go. She told me once how she had felt. She didn’t want to leave her family. But then there was this passage in the bible that she remembered from her childhood. It was from Ruth. This is the passage.-

‘whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people,’

Mum was quite religious and she told me she realised that she must go with Dad and his family as this was their new chance. That’s how I came to be brought up in Shrewsbury.

Last night we arrived at our hotel and I settled down to read a bit before going to bed. There was a bible on the bedside table and I picked it up and opened it. It opened on the page of that passage. I thought that so strange. Here I was in Mum’s home town, the town she didn’t want to leave, and of all the pages in the bible I opened it on that one.

So I read it and read on after the bit she had always quoted.-

whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried:

It was so strange, almost like a message from her to say she was happy with my decision.

And another odd thing happened today. I spent a whole afternoon in the local archives and they can’t find a record of my grandparents grave anywhere. Well maybe the records aren’t complete or maybe I am meant to just leave everything as it is and stop feeling uneasy.

I am still going to the cemetery tomorrow as there are other graves I want to find and also there is a museum near there we both want to visit. Then we are going to the theatre to see the show. Mum’s dad was musical director there in the early part of the 20th century. so that’s a bit of nostalgia too.

I will write some more about our visit next time.