30 years old in Elm

I have all these dreams

And goals

But feel so lost

In all the surviving and trauma

At 30 years old

Just always hoping praying

Just so caught up in coping

I try so hard to stay away from the bad

But it always seems to find me

I dont want to go back

I just want to be alone

Fuck it all

Fuck them all

I just got to keep it all in

Because the moment i pour it all out

They are all gone

My feelings dont matter

My problems will always be someone elses problems

And my fault

How thats for salt?

It burns

And i yearn

But what the fuck can i do?

I am not lost

I am found

But they forgot about me

They dont want to find me

Or remind me

That i matter

That i am actually here

That i am human

And i breathe

I look at others and they seem lost in this fantasy world

Where i am stuck in this ugly fucking reality

Cant seem to escape

Because i always come back

Worse than before.

Last updated March 14, 2019