A little of this, a little of that in survey format in survey time

I’m really trying to write more, and since OD has been resurrected so suddenly and unexpectedly, it’s made me realize how much I miss the days when I wrote a LOT. Days which were considerably before OD actually departed, however temporarily- I was an infrequent and sporadic writer for ages before that happened. But whatever- one thing that ALWAYS coaxes me into an entry is a survey! I saved this one ages ago; I think it was from Search Results.

What bill do you hate paying the most?
I hate them all equally. Although I have to say, paying bills sure is easier since the advent of The Interwebs. I have very non-fond (ie, traumatic, drama-filled and teary) memories of spending hours writing checks and trying to figure out what went where and why and attempting to untangle TWO CHECKING ACCOUNTS because Baker B and I kept separate accounts (and a running list of who owed who what on the fridge and guess who always had the huge outstanding balance?? YEAH ME BECAUSE I AM A SPENDTHRIFT) and he never ever EVER saved his receipts so it was impossible to balance his account, and OMG it was AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. Why was this my job, you ask?? Well, because Baker B had a history of waiting to pay his bills until the cut-off notices appeared on the doorstep, because why would you pay your bills before the very very very last second, regardless of your financial state??? He attempted to take the bill-paying over once, despite my misgivings, ended up paying a number of things late (but before the cut-off date!) and it reverted to being my job forever.

Guess who has the sterling credit?? It’s not Baker B. Well, I’m sure his is fine now; this was YEARS ago. And I pay anything that’s in his name on time. Anyhow, at some point we ripped up The Who Owes Who What list, combined bank accounts, found ourselves working at the university where we only get paid once a month but actually are now making enough to pay the bills so I only had to deal with it monthly, the internet and online payment options arrived, and it’s a total breeze to pay bills. Most of them are auto pay and whatever isn’t just takes a few clicks.

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Romantic dinner!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! We have been together for … omg, we have been married TWENTY SEVEN YEARS HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN??!!??? And we lived together for five years before THAT, so… thirty two years. In 32 years we have had exactly 0 romantic dinners. Baker B is neurotic and has difficulty around noises, especially people who are eating, and we are both massively not romantic, so on the occasions that we do actually eat out, we spend our time reading the paper (online now! Yay internet and smartphones!) and making each other laugh. I’d way rather have dinner with someone who makes me laugh than someone who is romantic.

What do you really want to be doing right now?
Planning for a Big Trip. I have no Big Trips in the foreseeable future. That makes me sad. What I really DON’T want to be doing is figuring out what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow, and getting ready for bed. That’s no fun at all.

How many colleges did you attend?
Only one, which is the same one I am currently working at.

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it is my Lounging Around Shirt. It is a black hoodie that I have probably owned for 15 years. It’s made of slightly stretchy material and is very very very comfortable. I am sorry to say that I wear either this or an old black sweater and yoga pants most nights after I get home from work. Why yes, I AM quite the fashionista.

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
That they are kind of high (2.45 or so) but I don’t care because I drive a very very economical Fit which gets 35+ miles to the gallon. And actually that’s not high at all compared to not-too-distant history when they were up to $4 a gallon.

My real bafflement with gas happened yesterday, when I went to FOUR STATIONS before finally being able to actually buy some. One, the nearest one to our house, is all fenced off and has a huge crater in front of it - apparently they are replacing the tanks. The next one had no regular gas at any of the pumps, which was very odd. The third one’s credit card reader wouldn’t take my card- it got stuck on “remove your card!!!! even though I’d removed my card long since, and it wouldn’t accept that my card was removed. Then it said “See the cashier!” And I said OH for FUCK SAKE!!! And drove to the next pump, which had a note saying the card reader was broken. As did all the rest, except for the last one, which had a big back macular degeneration type hole in the center so you couldn’t read it at all. Since !!!!I AM NOT GOING INSIDE TO PAY FOR MY GAS!!!! I drove to yet ANOTHER station, which had a combination of pumps that were out of gas, plus card readers that were not working. At that point I gave up, went inside, and pre-paid for $20 because I was completely out of both gas and patience.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Are classes cancelled??? ARE CLASSES CANCELLED??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET CLASSES BE CANCELLED!!!! Because for DAYS we’ve been having Winter Weather Alerts about the snow and ice and generalized nastiness we were due to receive late Sunday night. Our university now cancels classes for pretty much anything, at least early classes, and non-essential employees - like me! - don’t have to go in. We have to use vacation unless it’s the highest most serious condition, but I have plenty of vacation. So I was REALLY hoping classes would be cancelled and I could go back to bed. I should know better after all these years. The weather NEVER does what it’s forecast to do here.

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Maybe it really WILL be terrible weather in the morning and I can stay home!!!

What errand/chore do you despise?
I don’t generally mind errands, but I hate all chores. HATE. Except feeding the cats. That is the one chore I actually enjoy because they are adorable and they make me happy.

Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in because I am a terrible terrible night owl and I can never get to bed early enough to avoid being tired when I have to get up at a normal-person hour.

Favorite lunch meat?
I have pretty much given up eating meat - I didn’t eat much to begin with, then watched Food Inc and stopped eating anything that wasn’t humanely raised, and then two Christmases ago we were at Baker B’s mom’s house and his niece had made chili, which we were scarfing up .... then she said something about it being deer meat (this should not have been a surprise; her husband hunts) —- and I was SO HORRIFIED (silently of course; I’d never verbalize my horror!!) to find myself chowing down on Bambi’s mom.... then I realized that it’s awfully hypocritical to be scarfing down chili when I think it’s a cow, yet distraught over Bambi’s mom, so I just stopped eating meat altogether. I do eat seafood, so can’t claim to be a vegetarian, but I no longer devour lunch meat. When I did, I usually had turkey.

What do you get every time you go into Walmart?
A massive headache and a murderous rage. I despise Walmart. I used to buy film there in the pre-digital days becasue it was way cheaper, but it’s rare that I venture into a Walmart now.

Beach or Lake?
Lakes are great, but I looooove the ocean. Which I’m assuming “beach” means, although lakes DO have beaches too.

Somewhere in California you never been and would like to go.
I’ve never been to California at all, and would like to go to any of it, but I’d especially like to see San Francisco.

How old are you?
I am quite elderly, as evidenced by the first question, in which I revealed that I used to pay my bills with checks I put into the mail, and I did not have the internet to assist me.

Do you have a go-to person?
Baker B, and Kim are my two go-to people.

Are you where you want to be in life?
I expected to be a famous novelist with a whole bunch of books to my name along with some movie deals, and also I’d be a quite well-known painter and a photographer. So no, I really am not. Although I’m also not waiting tables and I don’t have to worry about paying the bills, so in that sense, yes, I am totally where I want to be.

Three grocery items you don’t run out of?
Cat food, beer and peanut butter.

When did you start doing your own laundry?
I think when I went to college. Weirdly, I don’t remember if I did my own when I was in high school, but I think my mom just did everyone’s. The more interesting question is when I stopped doing my husband’s laundry, which would be when he complained one too many times that his clothes were coming out with lint and wrinkles all over them, and I said, “WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING YOUR LAUNDRY IN THE FIRST PLACE??? YOU’RE A FUCKING ADULT - DO YOUR OWN DAMNED LAUNDRY!!!!” That was probably close to 30 years ago and he’s done his own damned laundry ever since.

First thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up?
A jockey. Then I got too tall to be a jockey when I was about 7, so I decided I would be a cowboy. Because I loooove horses! My cousin and I were going to live on a ranch and be cowboys. Not cowgirls. Cowboys. We were not going to allow our brothers or male cousins to be cowboys with us, although we agreed that we would probably let them visit.

OMG that was a long survey. As usual.

Last updated February 06, 2018