Head Banging in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

I need these. I need these little reminders of why I am moving on. A few today.

It is snowing BUCKETS outside. In some places in Iowa, this will be the most snowfall they’ve received for 3 years. Which I bring up because… of course that is why my pain is where it is today. Like an Arthritic Weather Soothesayer… barometric pressures effect the body.

Do you remember that e-mail I got from Chinese boss? The one saying my e-mail confused the Chinese kid and that I need to go through her. Apparently, she thought better of that but her solution is emphatically foolish. The problem, according to her, was that it was in written form. If I am on the phone with him, it will be much easier. Except… and I can’t stress this part of my confusion enough… if you don’t speak the language… would you rather try to listen to it, translate while listening, and try to figure it out...... or....... have it in writing, translate the writing, and figure it out? Mostly… I’m just kind of dumbstruck about the whole language-based process element. Always will be. For White Boss… Chinese Boss makes the phone calls and does all of the client contact because, duh. Chinese. For me? She can’t seem to make up her mind. Here’s the easy one: if you can’t find an attorney that speaks Chinese, and you want only Chinese-speaking clients… this is going to be a significant problem. Therefore you should either (1) chose to heavily recruit Chinese speaking attorneys, which may take time and intent but won’t be difficult with two “prestigious” international law schools in the state; or (2) take on fewer clients to meet your firm’s limitations. But, as has been pointed out before, the firm is “Say Yes, then we’ll figure it out.” Which again… I’m not saying is a bad way to do business. It just isn’t my way. I’m not going to assure someone I can handle something unless I know I can handle it. Maybe that makes me a coward. I tend to think of it as protecting my integrity.

But… again… because they are grRreat at trying to find where my frustrations lie… Chinese Boss explained today that I was being removed from the “Weekend Requirements List” except for one event because it was the shortest. She stated that it was to “preserve my ability to have free time”. Obviously, I appreciate that. And the part of me that gets frustrated was happy to hear that maybe I wouldn’t be in such high demand for unpaid bullshit. But… I honestly don’t think that is or can be enough. Frankly… I need some vacation time to heal up, rest up, and get my head on straight. I need some time to get my life in order. Whatever else happens or happens to get brought up? I’m doing this for me. And I can appreciate if that sounds like a selfish, arrogant, entitled asshole… but at the same time? If I can feel rested and/or lose at least 40 pounds? Then it will have all been worth it.