weak stomach. memory lapse. rachel. pat's brother. depression. *Con./TA/BI in 2017. got it.

this is from um. tues.

i used to be. one of those people w/ a weak stomach. watching surgery on tv yeah no i couldn’t. reading about it is fine but........yeah no. but ever since the BI. those things. don’t bother me quite as much. they don’t not.bother me.

oh so i looked it up. and i think i had a memory lapse. when.........like. after being at starbucks the night of the accident. i don’t remember what happened after. concussion, went into starbucks, sat and ate and then after that. ........ it’s just kindof blank. and i don’t remember. when this memory lapse thing started. so.

So I hit up Pat’s brother again. i said that my depression had gotten really bad [cause well it has] and i felt someone should know. and i’m leading him into this [‘this’ being telling him about the BI] and it’s a hard thing to tell someone.

so now we wait.

I’m just. he’s a nice guy so he won’t be a jerk when i tell him about.the concussion. i just i don’t know. he might not understand.........which i mean is sad. but he probably won’t be a jerk about it.

he’ll be the first person i’ll have told. i want to tell. jd. and ru....... those are my guys. [er well i mean. the guys i trust more then i trust most people.]. and there are a few other things i’ma tell them. been meaning to. ............ i should email lane actually i think i have his email. he’s one of my closest friends but really hard to get ahold of.

anyway.

it’s hard ‘coming out’ as someone w/ a brain injury. [that sounds a bit weird as though it’s a secret and i don’t want anyone but me mentioning it. well i don’t want anyone but me mentioning it.].

so rachel. well rachel took over for um.............chris right the guy from london. who i only met the one time. well at the meeting yesterday ..........marty said he was going to talk to the people at her.the company she worked for. ok yes 1 he did, acknowledge me by letting me know he’d do that. but. [and i do this a lot]. he didn’t ask whether or not i wanted that.