mini rant in tak faham

This bothers me. I feel like when me and my friends all want to do something go on a trip, show etc. I'M always the one who purchases everything on my card and they "pay me back". Even if it's just ordering food off of Seamless. I put the order on my card and then they pay me for the meal they ordered while strategically not including the tax or tip (unless I remind them too).

Big Fish is one of my favorite movies and it's coming on Broadway soon. I want to get tickets for opening night. I've never seen a show on OPENING NIGHT before. I think that'd be pretty rad.

But of course people want to go with me "OMG COULD YOU GET ME A TICKET AND ILL PAY YOU BACK"

It's like..yeah I mean I'd like you to come with me but I DONT HAVE 200 DOLLARS TO DROP ON MY CARD TO BUY THREE TICKETS TO A BROADWAY SHOW. Here's an idea, why don't YOU GO ONLINE AND BUY OUR TICKETS AND ILL PAY YOU BACK FOR ONCE.

Oh but no that's not right because "It was my idea" So I have to be the one.

And where and when do you expect to "pay me back"? The night of the show? After the show because you just never got a chance to run by an ATM in the two weeks you have owed me? Or maybe you will buy me a 17 dollar drink during intermission and call it even somehow. NO.

I used to be the one with money so I used to have no problem doing this on a regular basis. I mean, it really is not a problem when you have money. I bought two tickets for me and my friend to go to London and she didn't pay me back until the day before the trip (700 something dollars). But now...I really can't afford to do that. Even if you paid me back the next day. Tickets are 64 dollars. I know my friends will throw me a 50 and a 10 and be like "close enough right?" When really it turns out to be even more with fees. Then I have to be the naggy bitch and be like "no i need more than this"

Plus...this show is going to sell out soon. I looked at buying one ticket and the best mezzanine seat is the fourth row from the back. If I looked to find three tickets together I might not find a spot at all.

So the dilemma. Do I go by myself or just break down and charge 3 tickets on my credit card? Or maybe just pick one friend and do 2. Then hide from the other friend that we went without them.

Going by myself sounds nice but I just know if I purchase my one ticket now I will immediately regret it because it is obviously more fun to do that stuff with friends. Then again going by yourself can be thoughtful and enlightening. I don't know but I have to decide soon because it will probably sell out by the end of the week.

Ugh. It's like I hate being the boss of my group of friends. They automatically rely on me to make decisions and handle everything. Like when one of my friends came to visit me in NYC she honestly expected me to have an agenda ready of things we were gonna do. She had no ideas of her own and wouldn't leave the apartment without me. I had to choose meals, bars, activities etc. And if she didn't like it I got to experience her poutyness. When I confronted her about it I get "Well you know more about what to do here and I don't know anything"

AND WHAT DO WE DO WHEN WE DONT KNOW ANYTHING?? ITS CALLED GOOGLE WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY.

When my friend and I went to London our friend we were staying with got sick, so we went out and entertained ourselves using the internet to look stuff up and this really handy dandy thing called a TUBE MAP.

I think my friends do tend to naturally look up to me because they are so convinced that I am so much smarter than them. I guess I act like that around my one friend Jazz who is in med school. i assume she's smarter than me and can handle things better than I can.

This mini rant turned into a big rant. I don't know what I should to about the show. I guess I'll think about it for a while.