Used Like an Old Kleenex 5/11/2004
I've decided to do what I did my second semester of sophomore year. I'm swearing off boys for the semester and simply concentrating on boosting my GPA and hanging out with my friends.
Henry's been using me, and I'm sick of it. It reminds me of the Christopher situation all over again. It makes me sick to think that all guys wants in me is sex.
Henry had asked last Monday to come over to my house and hang out with me, and I OK'd it. We had just gotten over a fight from the previous weekend. He drunkenly IMed me at 4 am last weekend, asking me to pick him up so he could sleep over. He said he'd been kicked out of both his friend's room as well as his own room because he'd been 'too out of control.' Now, it's 4 am and everyone else is sleeping..bringing him here when he's already been kicked out of two places is probably a bad idea. But I actually told him yes, and went to go and get my purse and keys. Halfway out of the apartment I realized how stupid this all was. We really hadn't spoken all week, and now he asks me to go and pick him up at dawn, and I go running to do it? Fuck that. So I put my stuff down and IMed him that my car was blocked by another car in the parking lot. We got into a fight with him saying that no-one gave a damn about him, and me telling him that he needed to sleep it off. He actually threatened me that he was going to...let's just say he was going to do something stupid...if I didn't come and pick him up. That was the last straw...I was fucking pissed. The last thing someone wants to do is threaten me in order to get their way. So he told me that he got out of control like this when he was drinking, so I told him to stop fucking drinking and signed off.
He apologized to me that Monday about what had happened, saying that he didn't even remember what he had said. Yeah well, he had to have remembered something because his away message said that he couldn't count on anyone except Regina and Greg...nice...who the fuck is Regina...?
Anyway, so we were talking and he asked if I wanted to hang out. We decided he'd come over around 8 o'clock to watch the Sopranos with me. After picking him up we made a Walmart run and got snacks and stuff. During the car ride, we kept bantering about my car. He insists it's a piece of shit (which I agree with, but would never tell him that) and I kept saying that if he didn't like my car, he could get the fuck out and ride his skateboard to my house. I love the fact that we're not really affectionate with each other in public, but we'll rip each other apart instead. In bed though, he's so sweet to me....Or I thought he was anyway.
We munched on snacks at my house while watching t.v. At one point he went over to my couch and just crashed there. I woke him up around 11 pm to tell him what time it was and if he wanted to go home yet. I sat on the couch with him as he attempted to wake himself up. I don't know how it happened, but we started wrestling on the couch. Not like physically abusive wrestling or anything like that, but giving play punches to each other... Anyway, we wound up kissing (surprise surprise) and he asked if he could stay the night. The rest is obviously going into a private entry...
I missed my cell biology class the next morning and we ended up sleeping til noon. I drove him back to campus shortly after waking up. I kind of would like it if he gave me a kiss or a hug or something when he left. Usually he just says "bye" and gets out of the car.
We didn't speak the rest of the week although I IMed him twice. I was at the bars on Friday and was getting really frustrated because I saw his entire fraternity except for him. Then I thought I saw him hookinh up with some other girl, but it turned out to not be him. Really frustated and tired, I decided to just go home. As I was walking out of the bar, who do I see? Henry. I wasn't going to go back into the bar after I had just left because that would just be stalker-ish. He wasn't out the following night and he hadn't spoken to me the rest of the weekend, execpt to ask for the doubles of my formal pictures. I IMed him on Monday (yesterday) to say hi and he told me that he didn't wanna talk and just wanted to go 'stare at a wall.' Ummm....OK....So basically I'm only good for him when he needs to get picked up at 4 am or when he needs ass. I feel like I waited 21 years for nothing. Chris was a waste of a first time, but I figured that I'll make sure that I actually mean something to the next guy I sleep with. Yeah...that worked out well. I feel as if I should've just lost it to a one-night stand during my freshman year or something. I'm so sick of feeling used...
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