Drunkeness and Stairwells are a Bad Combo 3/24/2004
I know in my last entry I sounded like a dumb sorority chick....doing a line of cocaine is not something I take lightly. I didn't want to focus on it because I know it was wrong to do. It was a stupid decision, but it's done, and there's relatively little harm done, so I won't stress over it.
I have been doing stupid things lately. I guess it's just that I've always been this quiet shy kid and doing something really bad just make me happy momentarily. I once told Margot that I smoked weed and she was truly shocked. "You Artist??, as it was something totally unbelievable. I'm not saying it's smart, but it's what I've been doing.
I ended up stayin on that Thursday night but I went out on Friday to the APD mixer. The party was really good at first. Corinne and I walked there, it wasn't too cold out and the drinks were amazing. They were serving vodka and cranberry, and the mixed it correctly, which was a double bonus. I started drinking more and things became fuzzier. One of the boys invited me and Corinne into his room to do a shot with him. I'm not sure what kind of alcohol it was, but it was really strong and burned my throat and chest on the way down. The brothers applauded me for taking the shot so fast. I met an alumni of their frat, who seemed nice enough, and a guy named Greg who lived about five minutes away from my hometown. He also transferred from SUNY-Stonybrook, a school I'm familiar with since I volunteer at their hospital. The guy who invited us into his room was good-looking, and seemed like a decent guy until he made the following comments. Corinne joked that if she got sick off of the vodka that she would drag him into the bathroom with her. He replied, "I'm the last guy you want to be sick in the bathroom with because I will take advantage of you. That's my favorite kinda sex, when I'm doing a girl when she's getting sick." Now, even if he was joking, that comment is just disgusting and wrong. I should've said, "Well maybe that's the only way you'll get laid." I didn't. I simply walked out of the room.
Corinne and I were the last to leave the party which was a mistake. The boys were polite and well-mannered during the party but after everyone left they turned into total assholes. Or maybe they were jerks to begin with, but were putting on an act. Or maybe they were nice guys who simply acted like morons when the drank too much. Anyway, this one guy, Nick started talking to me and Corinne. I had met him once briefly while I was pledging and we started talking about that. Corinne had been talking to him about something else. I'm not sure how the conversation evolved, but by the end of the night both Corinne and I were kissing Nick...both at the same time and alternately. I don't think I've ever been so dumb. Boys were trying to get me and Corinne to kiss each other but I wasn't drunk enough for that. At one point, their pledges started taking pictures. I started to feel really silly and very uncomfortable and was trying subtly to get Corinne to leave with me. Once I started to refuse to kiss Nick, he got really angry at me and kept yelling at me to get the fuck out of his house. I didn't want to leave the house by myself and didn't want to leave Corinne alone while he cajoled me to hook up with him and yelled at me when I refused.
Nick then pulled Corinne into his room and I was left in the house by myself feeling really drunk and out of place. The pledges were cleaning up the mess from the party, and one of the brothers that was also involved in the hook-up orgy was this guy named Eugene. He offered to go into the room and get Corinne out for me. When he came out saying that Nick had his pants off and that the two of them were "busy" I decided to leave Corinne at the house and walk back by myself. When I left however, I was so drunk that I missed a stair and ended up tumbling down the entire stairwell. At first I was sliding down on my back but then I leaned forward to try and stop myself, and ended up doing a somersault down the stairs. I would've smacked my head on the landing except for the fact that I was quick enough to put out my arms before I reached the cement floor. Too stunned to cry I walked out of the house.
I walked out and my phone rang; it was Erin, who was already at the bars and asking me where I was. Then I started hysterically crying and asked her to meet me. She came out of the bar with her ex-boyfriend Dave. I started to think of Chris and cried harder. I couldn't even talk because I felt so stupid. I acted even dumber by insisting that I was fine when I obviously wasn't and that I would walk home by myself even though I just told her to come out and meet me. Erin and Dave were really awesome though; they walked behind me the whole way home.
I'll finish the rest of the weekend later because I have to go and meet with my cell biology lab group...fun fun
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