She's unhappy?.... again.... in other first

Destiny called about 6ish last night to inform me she’s unhappy with her relationship. It’s her fault. I know this. In the past she has been in some pretty horrible relationships. One guy even tried to kill her unborn daughter (and it was even on TV, no joke). She’s always had lazy to a point where they would have to move because they couldn’t pay bills just because lazy..... horrible. She has had some pretty rough tumbles falling love with a drug addict and managing to have babies by 3 different guys who could not spend life with her. That has changed.... but this has to be HER.

She’s in a relationship now with a guy who has seriously been her friend for something like 15 years. They have been together some 4-5 years now. Suddenly she’s unhappy. Nothing has changed, she just wants more affection and less stuff. He is not good at expressing love. He likes to buy her things and make her happy. She’s feeling like he’s trying to buy her love and she wants more touches. I had only like 10 mins to talk to her as she drove between her moms house and home. I said these things.....

“Google says it’s you. If you are unhappy in a relationship you must be unhappy with yourself.” “Do you feel like yourself in the relationship?” Her:”No, I’m always afraid I’ll make him mad” “Very bad Destiny, you need to do more things that make you happy, you know he’d support you, you can’t count on him for happiness.”

“Is he you’r best friend?” “Do you think he would be better off with someone else?” “Do you think you are a better person for having him so close?” She answered correctly to these things.... “So you aren’t leaving.... YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM” “straight up tell him, I want less things and more penis.... and I’m less than half joking” “Last thing before you go. You get what you give and people need social connections. Touch him 10 times a day. Make it a point to catch his focus even if it’s just a hand on his shoulder when you ask him what he wants for dinner. See if that helps.”

I hope I said good things. I know it’s not him. He treasures her. She knows it’s not him because he has done nothing to make her feel this way except be him....he is so good to her. In all honesty I really feel like all she should have to do it sit down and think of all the shitty guys she’s been with. In her life I don’t feel like that is settling. She gets down sometimes, it’s the mental sickness. It will pass, it will be okay. It has to be. It will break her for always if she were to leave and then realize what she had done. I can only encourage her to do right things.... I hope I say right things.