Medicine 2/6/2004
A lot's happened since I last wrote. I over-reacted that night I went out with Corinne and have since apologized to her.
My grandmother died on Tuesday and they buried her on Sunday. I couldn't come home for the funeral. As bad as this may sound, I wasn't overly upset either. I was never close to her and only saw her once a year. She was a really neglectful mother to my mom and my aunt, so I'm actually kind of bitter towards her. My mom's had it pretty bad. My grandmother didn't take care of things before she died, so my mom and my aunt wound up paying for everything and running around making arrangements. My mother told me today that she was the one who had to identify the body by herself and she's been having nightmares ever since. I felt like a really big bastard because I few days ago I called home and flipped out about my books not arriving yet.
Speaking of flipping out...I saw a psychiatrist today for a psychiatric evaluation. I missed my class that I TA for on Thursday night and two classes on Friday to come home and get to this appointment..they were going to cancel on me last night because my original doctor had a family emergency, but my mother screamed at them. She yelled that I was traveling in seven hours to get here and they better fit me in somewhere with someone else. So yeah...they found me another appointment with another doctor. A male doctor, which I hate. But he was a really nice guy and pretty easy for me to talk to. I'm so sick of being stressed out all the time and not being able to enjoy my good fortune this year. He diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder after talking with me for an hour. I wasn't truly surprised...my psychologist thought that's what I had. He asked me how I felt about medication. On one hand I'm uneasy about it. The side affects scare me and I'm terrified that if I have a child one day I'll either A) not be able to have one or B) have one with like two heads. He assured me it doesn't affect fertility and the fact that I'm on birth control will not be affected by my medication, which is good. So I agreed to take a prescription and I'm supposed to have a phone session with him in a month. So yea...hopefully that will get better.
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