Alcohol Orgies and Drama 1/24/2004
I know I need to write more entries. Next year when most of my friends have graduated and I'm sitting in my one-person apartment, I'm going to read about all the stupid shit I did this year. All of the parties just seem to haze together into one big drinking orgy with a ton of drama on the side.
I got back to Binghamton on Thursday night. Since I got back at ten at night I didn't go out, and just stayed in to unpack and hang out with Big in my room. All throughout Friday I ran errands and then went out on Saturday night. I bought a small bottle of 99 Blackberries and pregamed with it by myself. The night kind of sucked. Each of my friends was pairing off with a guy and it just felt like the night was a bust. I walked back to my apartment at 2:30 by myself because I was starting to feel really sick. That morning was especially bad; one of the worst that I can remember. I moved off my bed because I was so nauseous and was worried I'd end up getting sick in my bed. I literally dragged myself to the kitchen to get myself a big cup of water and then curled up on my bedroom floor. I was so thirsty, so I just kept drinking...and then I felt like I was going to be sick, but I hadn't eaten anything. Apparently, it is possible to vomit even when nothing's in your stomach. I didn't make it to the bathroom and ended up vomiting water on my floor. I was so sick that I simply curled up on another spot on my floor and went back to sleep. I woke up around 2:30 in the afternoon, and didn't take a shower til five. Odd as it is, I wanted to go out Sunday night, but everyone seemed to have left without me. We didn't have school on Monday, and I know I'm not going to be partying like this next year...so I'm trying to stock up on the wild partying I guess.
The next day I was checking away messages and Chris's mentioned that he got yelled at by a girl in my sorority the night before. I asked him who it was and he said he didn't know. I found out later Lisa had come up to him and was like, "You better treat Elissa like the princess that she is. If you want to end things with her, do it civilly. If you don't stop treating her like shit, I'm going to take one of those dumbbells that you like to lift at the gym so much and I'm going to shove it up your ass." Now...I don't think it's right that she yelled at him like that in the middle of the bar in front of his friends, and basically, the entire bar. I e-mailed her and asked her in person to not do that again. But deep down...I'm glad she said something that I would never have the balls to say. I know it's wrong of me, but that's how I feel.
I apologized to Chris and made up some story that Lisa had heard that he was hooking up with another girl at the bar, Lisa got pissed in my defense, and that's why she yelled at him. I had to explain to him somehow why she bitched him out so. In truth, I redally don't know why she yelled at him. She and I aren't that close and she really doesn't know too much ab out what's going on with Chris anyway. Then again, my friends thrive on participating and starting drama so...yeah...that answers my question I guess.
I didn't go out Monday night because Tuesday was the first day of classes. I went out Tuesday night because Corinne's 22nd birthday was on Wednesday...so we pre-celebrated. The bar sucked. I don't drink beer and I didn't have a lot of money on me. Besides, I had a 9:40 the next day. The bar we were at was freezing, and I was just generally bored. Erin was being obnoxious that night and bossing me around. We went to a pizzeria, where I broke my golden rule about eating junk food at night. (Drinking large amounts of alcohol late at night is OK though...I have odd priorities....). Anyway, after that we went to another bar, where I found Big, and we left for home after a little while.
I woke up really late for my Wednesday class and got there significantly late. My teacher's a sweetheart though, which is a plus since it's a 9:40 class.
On Wednesday night it was Corinne's birthday, so we left pretty early (around 10:30) to the bars. Apparently, on Wednesdays, my favorite bar serves the most incredible chicken wings for ten cents each. I had pregamed with five bottles of Rasberry Smirnoff Twisted, so I had a good buzz going. I spent $2 and bought 20 wings for me and Corinne. The wings rock, but they make your breath so bad you could kill a small animal, and they're extremely messy...which is really sexy when you're in a bar. I saw Chris across the bar but figured I'd talk to him later. He ended coming over to me and we talked for a bit. He took my hand and we hung out in the back of the bar and talked about inane stuff. Lisa came over to us, and Chris and Lisa had a minor tiff. I kind of just stood there, feeling uncomfortable.
I wanted to kiss him so badly, but for some reason it just felt awkward. I had't seen him in so long. He lost weight and his hair is shorter. They're just stupid little differences, but I wished I had seen him over the break.
He kept saying that he had to get up early to finish writing a paper so I told him to go and find his friends then. I didn't want to have him feel as if I was hanging on him. He said he was going to go back, so I gave him some b.s. peck on the lips and left. I have no idea why I did that. I was thinking about kissing him all night, and then when I get the chance, I fuck it up.
On Thursday night I went out to my favoritest bar of all. I used to go there all the time as a sophomore, but now that I live downtown, I go to the bars downtown, as opposed to taking a cab to my favoritest bar which all of my friends hate. So I went with Tanya and Big, after a year of not being at this bar. Other than the walk there, I had a good time. Tanya was oo cheap too take a cab and insistedd on walking and Big was simply curious to find out how long of a walk it would be. Now, I don't have anything against curiosity, but couldn't have she saved it for when it was warmer? My legs actually burned because they were so frostbitten.
I had a good time, but Big apparently didn't. "I'm too old for this," she says. Funny, since she and I are the same age. Funny, since she didn't mind getting wasted in crowded bars last semester...Once again, I didn't really drink; I had two pina coladas at the apartment with Big, but I tried to tone it down so I don't totally obliterate my liver.
I saw Chris's suitemates at the bar, but I managed to avoid them for most of the night. I was worried that since Lisa had yelled at Chris, Chris's suitemates might yell at me. Also, I thought it was odd...I mean Chris knew I was going to Cheers, and then all of his suitemates show up at the same bar? Coincidence? I don't know. Anyway, I was waiting for Tanya to get out of the bathroom, and Big was standing around with me when John, Chris's suitemate (who I had a crush on my sophomore year and almost hooked up with) came over to me. I smiled and gave a little wave to be polite, but he says, "Are you mad at Train or no?" (Trains' Chris's nickname...I'm one of the few who calls him Chris). So I said no and he was like "One of your sisters totally yelled at him a few nights ago." So I lied again and told John that Lisa had heard that Chris had been cheating, she got mad, and yelled at him in my defense. He jus shook his head, and I said, "Look I'm not mad a Chris and I had nothing to do with that."
I really hadn't...I hadn't told Lisa any of the details of my problems with Chris and I've never asked her or implied that she should go yell at him for me. Apparently, the people I did tell have big mouths....but anyway...
So John says, "OK, well I'll tell him that," and leaves. It bothered me because I had told Chris that I really didn't have anything to do with Lisa yelling at him. Did he ask John to question me? Gotta love the drama right?
Tanya emerged from the boys' bathroom (the girls' bathroom had flooded, so she simply walked into the other bathroom). We danced for a little while and then left. We crowded 16 people plus the driver into a minivan cab when we left the bar. I was getting crushed on Tanya's lap with a girl's head in my lap...interesting car ride.
I actually woke up on time for my Friday class. I was about to leave campus when I called Corinne to ask her a question about ordering books on-line. She says, "Chris is here in the mini mall with us, a few tables away. So even though I had an appointment to look at an apartment (I'm probably not going to rent it anyway) I called the landlord and told her I'd be thirty minutes late. I turned around and headed to mini mall. Whatever, I'm immature I know. But even if I am, you have to admit that everyone has stalked someone at least once in their lives. And if you say you didn't, you're lying :o). Besides, it wasn't really stalking...I was going there to hang out with my friends.
I walked in, and didn't see my friends at first, which made me nervous. I would look like a total ass wandering around the mini mall by myself. Corinne had exaggerated when she sit 'a few tables away.' Chris and John were sitting about one table away from me and my friends. As I passed Chris, I stopped, smiled and waved hello. Since I sort of didn't know what to do, I just went to go and sit with my friends. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to sit with him, since he was having lunch with his friend, and didn't want to embarass him by giving him a hug or a kiss or something. He was never one to have PDA's. Hell my brothers won't even hug me when their friends are around.
When I sat down I saw Chris look at me out of the corner ofmy eye and then saw John look my way too. So I'm thinking maybe that the brief hello was a bad idea...I don't know, things are so awkward now. I don't know what to do any more.
I had fun sitting around and just chatting with my friends. Corinne, Ashley, Danielle, and Devon were there, and Erin came by a little later. I saw Chris and John packing up their stuff, but I just sat there. Was I supposed to go over and talk to him? It's my first relationship, I have no idea what I'm doing. He solved my problem by coming over to me. He asked me what I did last night and I told him I walked to Cheers. hde laughed at me, and asked if I was going out tonight and I said Yes. So he says, OK well then I'll probably see you out tonight. Whatever happened to the time whenwe used to plan to meet somewhere to hang out? Now it's like, if I see you I see you and if I don't Oh well. Friday night was a total and complete bust, and I may have had my first fight with Corinne. I'll write more later, it's 11 am and I'm hungry.
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